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Most advanced Tribes in Nagaland: IMAGINARY CONVERSATION OVERHEARD"


Kevitho Kera: This is an imaginary conversation over heard by me. A conversation over a cup of Red tea infront of a Fire in a Naga Kitchen far away up in the mountains in a small Naga Hamlet; an honest heart to heart conversation between an Angami, a Sema, an Ao and a Lotha the four supposedly most advanced Tribes of Nagaland. Please this post is going to make a lot of people cringe in their seat and I will probably get a lot of hate mail after and and am gonna lose a lot of fans but who cares I’ll speak  out the Truth.
Angami man takes a long hard sip from his cup and starts “ We Angamis, we are the most arrogant Tribe in Nagaland, we always think we are the best Tribe in Nagaland and we are also one of the most conservative; extremely narrow- minded and we rarely allow our daughters to marry someone from out side. Right now Neiphiu is the C.M and we are making the most of it, suddenly there so many millionaires overnight; small time contractors are class- 1 contractors now as we are getting all the Plump Contracts. We are no longer the sidha sidhi budhu angamis we were known once as, we are getting really corrupted and all our Big shots are the worst randas, keeping several mistresses and we are extremely proud of it!”
Ao man pops a pungent Tamul into his Mouth, chews it with a vengeance and with typical Ao theatrics in a conversation; with lots of hand movements says “Ayahaa S.C Jamir is no longer in power and we are so insecure; Angamis and Lothas are catching up. We no longer get jobs because S.C. Jamir is no longer in power. We are very insecure because our position in the top is very shaky. We think NPF is an Angami Party and we take every chance to ridicule the Angamis because we are Jealous. Since we know our position at the top is doomed we are starting to turn to Religion and we are the ‘so called holiest’ tribe in Nagaland. We are sending a lot of our Children to theological colleges and we are becoming missionaries in numerous number “
Sema man busy oiling his Pistol and beaming with Pride as his gun glistens in the Moonlight, takes a break and sips his tea then says “Wehhh Shalla Dimapur is ours!!! We love to threaten people and extort money and we have so many people in the Underground and we are very Proud of it. We are so rich because of extorted Money; Our Sema U.G. Kilonsers have palaces in and around Dimapur and we have our Sema Kilonser sons zipping around in Dimapur in Flashy Cars. We really don’t like the word “Ao” and “Tangkhuls”. We love going to where it is not our land and make it ours; we love to open villages by forcefully threatening people out from their homes”
Lotha guy as always the last one to speak, bites his Gur(Jiggery) than takes a sip says gently “We are the most Chalaak tribes in Nagaland. We always stand behind whoever is in power; we are chicken hearted. Have you seen a Single C.M from our tribe? We will never produce a C.M. We are always the safest people; we hate taking risks but we love to be moderate and will always take sides if an Angami, Ao or Sema is in power and we are not shameless in betraying anyone. We are the biggest Gossip Mongers in Nagaland and the most Disunited tribe in Nagaland; we get jealous even if our biological father is doing well and we will make every effort to pull him down.”
Comes a knock at the Door and before anyone can react enters a Chakhesang man saying he deserves a seat on the fire place courtesy Backward Quota, he takes the Angami’s cup shamelessly even though no one offered him and then sits and says “We have several gazetted officers and doctors and Engineers but we still sit under the safe roof of “Reservation”, we are no longer Backward but we still enjoy the ‘Backward Quota’. We are so Advanced now so please don’t call us Backward but we still deserve the Backward Quota because we are Backward no because we advanced I mean we are not Backward in other words we are Backward I mean we are not, we mean we are backward no we mean we are advanced… (Stutters) I mean (coughs) you know what I mean? (Turns red faced)
This is the Reality guys, Tribalism and Selfishness has overtaken us. It is us the present Generation who has the power to do away with this Tribalism and Selfishness and the moment is now. The Naga Blog is the right Platform where the Younger Generation can come together and stand United and proudly show to the World that we are “Nagas” First then comes our Respective Tribes. I am sorry but I have to speak out the Truth and I know it has hit you really hard where it hurts the most and you can hate me if you want to. This post is if you delve into it harder you will find Optimism at the Core and because of Naga Blog I’ve changed into an Optimistic Person. Kuknalim.
 
(The Naga Blog was  created in 2007 by  Yanpvuo Kikon. This  column in the Morung  Express will be a weekly  feature  every Saturday)