Good morning ladies! We celebrate your International Day every year in March with gusto. It is time to assist the net result of such celebrations. On this day, many chivalrous Don Quixotes are thrown out with loud promises – never to sheath their swords till the last damsel in distress is restored to her rightful place with honour. These heroes are not visible the next day. This is called male chauvinism.
The display of valor by these gender warriors should not be trusted fully. Better view their patriotism with limitations. They openly glorify you, but their inner hearts are singing, “Halleluiah, despatch all females to Heaven, Glory to God in the Highest, And on earth peace.” They are spiritual by day but spirited by night. They pray by day and bray by night. In reality this so called martial race belongs to the partial race.
A lot is discussed on rights of women. A lot is resolved on how men should respect women better and to realize that women are as talented and capable as men and very often even more so. Men have to respect women’s wishes – dresses they wear, outings, kitchen holiday, etc. Men should never resort to violence or intimidation against women. Men have to maintain boundaries in the work places and make sure of their comfort at home. However, the pampered Naga male ego is a tough nut to crack.
Yes, for all the talk of women being denied their rightful place in society, ladies need to do some self reflection too. Let me attempt the unthinkable. Women need to correct the constant desire to judge other women. Women are by nature hard on themselves. They are harder on each other. An over-weight elderly woman struggle to cross the crowded street in a rush hour. Pedestrains on the street are mostly women. They are watching her struggle with disgust. “This fatso, how terrible,” is the only support from these women around. A working mother misses her Sunday church service due to an office dateline. Others think,”what a sloppy mother she is.” A young woman in a short skirt makes other women go slut in their heads. A pretty young woman makes other women wonder what she has been upto to get that promotion in her job. Women are ready to judge other women right from the ill fated coiffure to bluntly cooked food. Can a woman let another woman breathe? After all, all the women are not roses, some are regarded by others as thorns.
A common female behavior is the easy adoptation to feed male ego. Praising of male vain glory is pure sycophancy and acceptance of raw deal in any assignment is reason enough of your weak-kneed personality. What is the point of collectively harping on equality when as individual you are happy to lapse into flattery. Do not turn the other cheek, you may end up losing both. This biblical novelty is old fashion now. After all, men would like to keep a girlfriend, though married. This is the modern art of the so called smart living.
In terms of finance too a good number of women generously give away their lawful earnings to son, daughter, husband, brother, etc. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but women are emotional fools and need to be told so. So think seriously. You have your life too. It is only when a woman asserts herself she is taken seriously.
The way the Naga society is structured, women are not encouraged to be as ambitious as men. This is wrong. Women should become more ambitious and dream big. For that matter all young people both men and women should have fire in their belly. They should aspire to do well in life. Success only will finally humble men to respect women.
Another intriguing aspect of our women is the uncertainty of becoming a professional and the mild confusion over the thought of marriage and children. The first is easier said than done. The second is easier done than said. One need to work very hard to achieve a rewarding life as a professional, but to become a vibrant mother of a family one just need the goodwill of a loving husband. Both of these will contribute towards upward mobility. But some believe in temporary delay in marriage. Truly you are testing the water. But you are growing older too. Your indecisiveness on these two fronts will give you headache. One headache is bad enough but two can be unbearable.
Presenting many facets of Naga women in their amazing diversities have not been easy. They have played many crucial roles towards nation building. Yet they are still considered not suitable to hold traditional and customary posts in the clan or tribe. Unfortunately, the patriarchal mindset seems yet to outgrow a false chivalry and misplaced concern for the “weaker sex”. Be patient, even the hard icy mountain will melt when the heat is charged upon continuously. Here Sir Isaac Newton’s First Law of Motion will come handy for all of us.
Ice is melting slowly. Earlier, “man proposes, God disposes.” Now, when man proposes, woman disposes. Nowadays, it is not fashionable among young women to enter kitchen. But they are happy to attend the state-of-the-art cooking classes with pen, pad and mobile phone along with men. This food classes is changing the game. Men are more innovative and deliver delicious cuisine that will transport you to instant thrill by mesmerizing your palates, not just for the stomach but for your heart too.
Further, men are into big league venture to make your dreams come true and to relish your insatiable desire in life with endless diversion – special ship-shape slimming exercises with spa and beauty salon attached. Huge shopping malls have come up stocked with designer garments, cosmetics, etc. Men are into fashion technology. There are now great opportunities for ladies to indulge themselves.
Gender issue is highly sensitive in every society. One cannot rule out a possible male backlash when pressed hard. Each is on the brink of insanity and each offer view on life strikingly different and alarmingly funny. Men too face harassment. They are bread earners for the family. However, in extreme cases just desert them all. Soon boredom will strike them to temporary insanity curable only by the loving care of women. Don’t worry, today we have many assertive women with modern spine. They are vocal, passionate and react appropriately even to ordinary situation like hailing an auto rickshaw or in fish market while the men are insecure, pessimistic and withdrawn.
The tug-of-war over 33% of seats for women to contest among themselves in Urban Local Bodies too is gaining ground – though the destination is a little distant away. Still let us bring up the family first on gender neutrality. We shall fight the good fight and shall run the race. Arise, awake we shall overcome someday.
Mapu Jamir I.A.S. (Retd.), Dimapur,
