RELATIONSHIP: A Ship in Sinking

Fr. Joe Mariadhas

St. Joseph’s College, Jakhama


We live in a time when the world is fast moving with achievements and awards; recognition for the tasks and appreciation for the services rendered. The power, glamour and glory of information technology and the human gratifications beyond imaginations and limits make me think what is happening to us. I wonder if these all bring satisfaction, happiness and contentment in our personal life. Human behaviour stems from a combination of concrete bio-psycho-social features. Among them the quality of relationship experienced and expressed between people significantly determines the affection and the bond that is established between individuals. This enduring bond emits a range of attachment styles accounting for individual differences in shaping and sustaining cordial and continuing relationships. We find today that our relationships are fluid, sensitive, complicated and it affects our social behaviour in many ways. As I introspect on the present life style, we’re not prepared for the sacrifices, for the compromises, for the unconditional love. We’re not ready to invest all that it takes to make a relationship work. We want everything easy. We’re quitters and we don’t have the patience to deal with relationships. We’re busy people chasing materialistic dreams and relationships are nothing more than convenience. We look for instant gratification in everything we do; we’re greedy. We want to have everything. We get into relationships at the slightest attraction and step out, the moment we find someone better.


The reality is that we are all created as social beings, to connect, interact, love each other and live a life of peace and harmony. The value of human relationships need rejuvenation today as many of us as individuals and as communities stare at the inhuman behaviours exhibited and meted out at diverse junctions of our lives. It is true that it is in the foundation of human relationships upon which everything else is built. But most often we fail to connect with people around us. We become engrossed in our personal living that we forget to live the present moment, cherish the relationships and enjoy the company of the loved ones. We need to rely on the strength of human relationships to survive and thrive. We are born into the world vulnerable, weak, and in need of physical and emotional nurturing. The strength of the original human relationship provides a path into the future, helping to define what is possible. The level of support we get will often be based on the strength of the relationships we have created throughout our lives. Lessons from the dying include the bedrock understanding that our illusions of invincibility and independence just don’t stand up to the truth of the need for connection.


In the human existence the love of a family is life’s greatest blessing. We need to make our families loved that we begin to live like humans. Our thoughts bind us and our fears limit us if we have a strong bond and relationship it will enhance our beliefs which controls us. There is power in each one of us to create, recreate and relive lives with joy and satisfaction. In our striving towards the enhancement of our relationship with others we need to remember that there are powerful resources within us. We have love, prayer, hope and positive attitudes and these are boons to be shared with our loved ones. We are torn apart in many ways in our human relationships, be it intrapersonal or interpersonal. There is a felt need to be kind, considerate and compassionate towards the aged and the elderly. The value of respecting the elders is corroding and eroding from our younger generations for the reason that our interpersonal relationships are not build on love and affection. There is little remembrance in our family circle that the elders were the champions of the past and it was they who shaped and moulded our lives for what we are today. Our lives will become meaningless if we do not hold on to the ethos of our communities and values that was handed down from the older generations. There is need for love, human affection, sense of belonging and sharing. If we do not hold them selfishness will shatter the future of our society. I think we should not pave the way for a broken and wounded world.


Relationships are the basic factor of a society. Changes in life style have changed the power of relationships. Attaining satisfaction and happiness is the usual expectation in every walk of life. But, the surfacing of discord and dissonance in human relationships is found to be inevitable. The emerging struggles cripple togetherness and healthy behaviour of people in general. This, in turn, induces a chain of reactions in relationships and satisfaction. Furthermore, the relational aspects of the individual and the family become destabilised and, eventually, diminish the faith in the very foundation of the societal life. An interpersonal relationship is a strong, deep, or close association or acquaintance between two or more people that may range in duration from brief to enduring. Relationships run across a variety of emotions. They nurture us, support us and give us the ability to go ahead in life. When the relationships are ignored, people don’t get time for each other complications enter. Therefore it is necessary to ‘service’ our relationships every now and then the way we service our cars for the long run.