Political Godmen Teachers..!

“Bob!” said the voice at the other end, “You would fit well as the principal of our godmen school!”

It was a few hours after reaching the Godman School, I was summoned hastily for a meeting, “What’s the hurry?” I asked the committee member who had come to my lavish quarters, “I am just getting used to the place.”

“If you cannot solve this immediate problem, you might have to return home by the next train!” said the committee member woefully as he led me to the board room. “We know all your qualities,” said the chairman, “which is why we’ve offered you the principal’s job! We have competition which may wipe us out!”

“Don’t worry,” I said proudly, “with my super abilities, I’ll see all other godmen institutes are off the radar, even before they get on the drawing board!”

“The competition is not from other godmen,” wept a committee member even as he howled with sorrow, “It is from a most unexpected source. It’s from politicians!”

Immediately, all the godmen committee members in the room started wailing like police sirens going off at a bomb raid, as I stood still waiting for the sad sound to stop. I then whispered, “Politicians have made a godmen school?” I whispered finally.

“Politicians have made the whole country into a godmen school!” said the chairman and the wailing started again, “The speeches and talks we gave to our disciples are now being said, broadcasted and repeated at every political meeting! Every political meeting has them talking about gods and goddesses, even instructing their people through religious discourses!”

“They have infringed on our territory!” shrieked a godwoman who I had not seen till then, since they all had long hair, “All my disciples are now going for political meetings. They say they are getting their fill of godmen messages there!”

“And those lectures and messages are working,” wept another committee member uncontrollably, as he switched on the TV monitor and showed me pictures of churches, mosques and even temples razed or burnt. They are able to do practically what we never achieved!”
“This is your first task!” shrieked the godwoman as a TV evangelist godman held her shoulders.

“Yes, your first task as principal of our godmen school!” shrieked all the other committee members of the godmen school, “To free politics off religion and bring it back to us!”

My wife was at the gate when I rushed back home, “What happened?” she asked, “You’ve left the job, I see!”

“They gave me an impossible task!” I said looking crestfallen, “They want me to compete with the most professional godmen teachers in the world, who have made the whole country their school! An impossible task!” I cried as the wife wisely whispered, “Stupid students..!”

Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and author. He blogs at www.bobsbanter.com and can be reached at bobsbanter@gmail.com