Now, I could be talkin’ ‘bout about any one of the ageing Khans or maybe any other actor: So I see one of the ageing Khans trying to show his bare chest to the public, he loves pulling off upper wear and inner wear to flex chest muscle for all the world to see.
"See my biceps!"
"Ah!" say his admirers.
"My triceps!"
"Ah!" swoon the same admirers.
"My forceps!"
"No! No!” shouts his English teacher, “Stick to biceps and triceps, and let the doctors use their forceps!”
Now this be all my imagination at play and I do not want to hurt any of the actor Khans feelings, whoever this may be; but in my imagination I see that same Khan running up one day to the Pearly gates, without his shirt, like one of the actor Khan’s likes to do, you know what I mean, pull off his shirt to show his bulging muscles! And Mr Khan he runs with bare muscle bulging for all to see, and see they do, but somehow running up to them Pearly Gates, no one cheers, like them people on earth did when they saw the same bulging muscles!
St Peter at the Pearly Gates he don't look up at the Khan, and Bollywood heartthrob he be teeny weeny bit upset that the man at the Gates be not impressed by his shirtless chest.
"Good morning sir!"
"Ah good morning Mr Khan, one moment while I complete these records!"
Khan he don't stop running, oh no he don't, he continues in same sport, called spot jogging by sportsmen down below. Little beads of sweat coming to rest on his famous chest.
"Ah now Mr Khan what happened to your shirt?" asks the man at the heavenly gates.
"I pulled it off!"
"And whatever made you do that Mr Khan?"
"See my biceps, my triceps, and also.."
"Yes Mr Khan?"
"Isn't it good?"
"I'm sure it is Mr Khan, I'm sure it is! But you better put your shirt on!"
"You don't want to see my chest?"
"Ah Mr Khan, over here we look deeper, just a wee bit beneath your chest, and what lies there is what be getting you past these gates.”
And Mr Khan he says, “Oh no! Oh no! Can I go back and tell me fans that them muscles be not important but de heart is?”
“Oh no Mr Khan!” says the man at the Pearly Gates sadly, “If the people below don’t know by now, that their heart be more important than their silly muscles, then Mr Khan I'm afraid they’ll be as disappointed as you when they come up here! Over here we look only at yer heart, not even if you have a fifty-six inch chest..!"
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and author. He blogs at www.bobsbanter.com and can be reached at bobsbanter@gmail.com
