Wasted years

A. Aonok

This is the story of my life….. All I have to show today are wasted years, ruined health and squandered money. I have given nor received nothing but pain and anguish to every near and dear ones. I was a bundle of skin and bones. I wasn’t living, just existing. Existing not for myself, but someone I loved and cared for- Drugs. The sun, sky, sea, land trees, flowers, animals and human didn’t mean a thing to me. All that mattered was my drug. I thought everyone was an escapist, running away from reality, from the cold, fast and materialistic world.

During my High School days I found myself a misfit. No, I found everyone else wrong. People were rigid in their views and old fashioned. Everyone poked his or her nose in everyone’s affairs. They wanted to find faults with others. They were ego filled people, greedy and selfish. I hated living in this unnatural atmosphere. I did not want to mix with them. I had no friends. A man needs company. I found drugs. Afterwards a time came when I would spend my entire day thinking of nothing but drugs. It impaired my judgment. I looked for shortcuts in life and finally reached a stage of running away from reality. When high on drugs, I thought I had found the divine light and the path to liberation. It was only after awhile, when I was deep into this new world that I realized where I had landed.

The world of addiction is not roses and flowers all the way. 99.9% is nothing but misery from hunger, undernourishment, disease, filth, lack of security and things unheard of. In my new world of addiction, everyone was living for his/her selfish ends. No one cared for another. You have no friends, just temporary acquaintances. Entry into this dark world of drugs is very easy. No passports, no visas, no filling up forms. The very first smoke or pills opens the large gates into this inviting world and then everything seems to come automatically. Every person thinks that he or she will not get addicted. This over confidence is the main cause of ruination.

After more than a decade of wasted life, I came across an old friend who was working with an NGO involved in Oral Substitution Therapy. He wanted to help me get out of addiction so I decided to give it a try.

I knew it would be a very difficult and slippery climb to step out of the deep pit called addiction still I was determined, and this NGO really did help me get out of addiction before my life was completely destroyed. My process of recovery began from the day I joined Oral Substitution Therapy and is still going on successfully. Thanks to all dedicated staffs of Bethesda OST centre. They really went out of their way to help me re-start my life.

The quality of life has improved for the better. I have learnt that there’s more to life than borrowing, begging, lying or stealing for my next dose.

Today, I’m slowly winning the confidence of my family and friends and on my part; I do my best to be loyal to their trust. At present, I’m engaged in an NGO activity trying to help my fellow friends who are like me. Also, I’m completely off drugs and smoking joints.

Everything in my life has changed gradually as my recovery improved.