Rev. Fr. C. Joseph,
Counsellor-St. Joseph’s College (Autonomous) Jakhama
Introduction: Counsellors’ Day 2018 will be celebrated on 27th November in order to focus attention on the unique contributions and impact of Counsellors across the Nation. The term "counselling" has many confusing meanings and there are many wide applications to it as well. To go by the dictionary meaning, the term counselling means "the provision of professional assistance and guidance in resolving personal or psychological problems." Many of us might have found ourselves in the role of a counsellor at times and also many of us might have used counselling and guidance of others in our life. But the actual meaning of counselling, the role of a counsellor and its importance are quite unclear concepts to many of us. When facing a dilemma or some psychological problem, we often tend to socially isolate ourselves from everyone and keep probing our minds to find a solution. But there are times when we are not able to help ourselves and there seems hopelessness in every pursuit we take. This is the situation when problems eat away self conscious that one needs to seek a counsellor and get life back on track.
Counselling is good for you: Children, students, adults, and old age people everyone can go to a counsellor for help at any point of time in life. In layman’s language the term counselling might be defined as the process where one person seeks advice and guidance from counsellor (may or may not be a professional counsellor) by sharing their personal grievances or dilemmas. Because the person who seeks advice entrusts the counsellor with all his/her private thoughts, emotions and feelings thus the role of a counsellor becomes very crucial. Many people today are apprehensive about sharing their deep feelings with someone and do not find someone to confide their secrets in, here the role of a counsellor fulfils such demands. A counsellor hears all the problems, thoughts, feelings of his/her subject, finds out his/her solution and do not judge them on any account. This is what makes one feel more comfortable and establishes a relation with the counsellor.
We all have guided and counselled many people in our lifetime and when we need to seek advice from someone we also to people who are elder to us, more experienced than us or to people who are trusted by us. But there comes a situation in life when we do not find an appropriate listener and counsellor. The experienced people can advice us but there is a possibility that they might not have been in the same situation as the one you are facing and thus their experiences and results might not be helpful to you. Here, the counsellor plays an important role as he/she analyses your problem and look over the situation with a fresh perspective (unlike comparing it to their own experiences) and give the subject as many solutions as possible. Also, a counsellor is not attached to his/her subject and thus his advice and counselling is not biased or judgmental. He/she observes and listens patiently to the subject’s situation and work in a direction to bring their subject out of the depression or problematic phase of life.
Students who face lack of concentration and confidence, mentally affected by family or academic stress or bullying of some kind must see a counsellor who can shape their potential minds in a better way so that they does not grow up as shy and afraid people. Sexually assaulted and molested people often are stuck in the dark phase of life and by counselling they can start accepting the life and be more optimistic towards it. Adults who are frustrated with not achieving desired results or are failing hopelessly can also seek counseling to help them keep motivated and focused on their aims. Many old age people who are often treated as commodity in their houses feel the need of some counselling so that they do not take any wrong decision and a counsellor becomes a friend to whom they can share everything they want to and thus stay happier and merrier. In India, the awareness about need and importance of counselling is quite low as compared to foreign countries. But here as well, people now understand the need to communicate their deepest feelings to a counsellor inside of bottling them inside.
Schools have started keeping a position of counsellor who can deal with children who require counselling. This is quite an important step because the children are the future of the country and if some things are holding them back then they do need expert advice to break free and live a fully cherished childhood. Adolescent is the age when many children often make wrong decisions in lack of guidance and if there is a counsellor who is there to listen and guide them without judging or punishing them, then they can actually be more frank and focus on good things. Every relationship involves conflicts and conflict management is a skill that many of us lack in. Counselling in marriage and relationships help people to bond better and make relationships smoother and with fewer conflicts. Counselling also helps one improve the skill of decision making, reduce tension, maintain a better self-esteem and confidence and feel more positive and optimistic towards life. So, instead of pushing oneself in dark one can actually seek a professional counsellor and try live life with a better approach to it.
Conclusion: It is true that complications and problems are inevitable in human life but we all acknowledge the fact that great disasters also hurt less if we have someone to support us. If you feel emotionally tired and helpless, you must seek counselling from someone you trust. Sharing your problems does reduce the pain but if the issue is way too complicated then seek an expert advice from a counsellor. Counselling is just one of many ways to help an individual. In counseling the emphasis is on the individual changing in some way so that they enjoy more control over themselves and their lives.
