For Girls
• Do not wear bras and panties – they are very indecent.
• Do not wear Nighties – being thin, they reveal chestnuts and forests. Hence, Nighties come under the purview of “indecent dressing.”
• Do not wear bra and panty when you sleep – rape and sexual assaults happen mostly at night.
• Do not wear denim jeans that have low waists and beltlines. Potential sexual predators might inadvertently think your butt-cleavage is your other southern triangle.
• Do not show your legs – your legs resemble the sexual organs of polar bears and sea creatures such as oysters. Human legs also resemble – although at a miniature level – the sexual organs of ducks. Hence, your legs elicit indecent sexual images. So do not show your legs.
• Do not show your thighs – thighs are closely related cousins of the vagina and hence, indecent.
• Do not wear necklines that advertise your cleavage – according to highly knowledgeable Naga scientists, your chestnuts might be harboring bacteria and microbes that cause rape and sexual assaults.
• Do not wear short skirts or show your knees – scientists have recently discovered that human knees are, in fact, private parts, similar to the genitalia.
• Do not wear stripper shoes – stripper shoes make your feet look like they are wearing Bikinis.
• Do not wear sleeveless tops. Armpits are close relatives of the breasts and a distant cousin of the Bra, hence indecent.
• Do not wear tight jeans or leggings – what if a potential sleazebag attacker notes down your phone number just by looking at the shape of the phone bulging from your super-tight pocket? Creepy!
• Now, all Naga bride-to-be – you are prohibited from wearing wedding gowns that are strapless. However, worry not – you get good quality white Burqas and veils on eBay at throwaway prices.
• All you Naga would-be-brides, beauty pageant contestants and Naga women living in the US and Europe, place your order for Burqas now – your moms and aunties are watching!
For Guys
• Do not wear shorts – hairs on open legs might be mistaken for antennas sending out sexual signals to members of the opposite sex, hence indecent.
• Do not wear boxers that show your thighs – thighs are closely related cousins of the penis. Hence showing your thighs is indecent.
• Do not wear vests – they show your nipples and chest – hence, indecent. As is with girls whose bra straps show at their shoulders, do not let your vest hangers show at your neck/shoulder areas of your shirt.
• Again, do not wear vests – they resemble giant bras, hence indecent.
• Do not go about shirtless – the moral police officers might persecute you for showing flat chests.
• Do not show your underpants’ waistband over your beltline – 100% of rape cases indisputably involve underwear.
• Do not wear skinny denim jeans – a big bump bulging from your frontal areas could be mistaken for potential sexual tendencies.
• Cover your face – they might think you have that creepy, indecent look.
• Wear shades – you’ll be accused of concentrating on her forbidden bulges when you were only reading the slogan on her T-shirt.
• Important for all Men: Do not think. You’ll be accused of having sex all the time in your mind.
By the way, where do you buy Burqa, for men? Just in case.
(With readers from around the world, popular Journalist and Columnist Al Ngullie is today the only Naga Media personality from Nagaland with the highest search-index on the Internet. National and international newspapers and magazines and internet institutions have published the works of the All-India Inclusive Media Fellowship recipient. Young, shy and soft-spoken, Ngullie adores his “my mostest beautifulest” mother and enjoys reading and blogging. Write to him at alngullie@yahoo.com. You can also speak your mind on his fanpages/groups on Facebook)
• Do not wear bras and panties – they are very indecent.
• Do not wear Nighties – being thin, they reveal chestnuts and forests. Hence, Nighties come under the purview of “indecent dressing.”
• Do not wear bra and panty when you sleep – rape and sexual assaults happen mostly at night.
• Do not wear denim jeans that have low waists and beltlines. Potential sexual predators might inadvertently think your butt-cleavage is your other southern triangle.
• Do not show your legs – your legs resemble the sexual organs of polar bears and sea creatures such as oysters. Human legs also resemble – although at a miniature level – the sexual organs of ducks. Hence, your legs elicit indecent sexual images. So do not show your legs.
• Do not show your thighs – thighs are closely related cousins of the vagina and hence, indecent.
• Do not wear necklines that advertise your cleavage – according to highly knowledgeable Naga scientists, your chestnuts might be harboring bacteria and microbes that cause rape and sexual assaults.
• Do not wear short skirts or show your knees – scientists have recently discovered that human knees are, in fact, private parts, similar to the genitalia.
• Do not wear stripper shoes – stripper shoes make your feet look like they are wearing Bikinis.
• Do not wear sleeveless tops. Armpits are close relatives of the breasts and a distant cousin of the Bra, hence indecent.
• Do not wear tight jeans or leggings – what if a potential sleazebag attacker notes down your phone number just by looking at the shape of the phone bulging from your super-tight pocket? Creepy!
• Now, all Naga bride-to-be – you are prohibited from wearing wedding gowns that are strapless. However, worry not – you get good quality white Burqas and veils on eBay at throwaway prices.
• All you Naga would-be-brides, beauty pageant contestants and Naga women living in the US and Europe, place your order for Burqas now – your moms and aunties are watching!
For Guys
• Do not wear shorts – hairs on open legs might be mistaken for antennas sending out sexual signals to members of the opposite sex, hence indecent.
• Do not wear boxers that show your thighs – thighs are closely related cousins of the penis. Hence showing your thighs is indecent.
• Do not wear vests – they show your nipples and chest – hence, indecent. As is with girls whose bra straps show at their shoulders, do not let your vest hangers show at your neck/shoulder areas of your shirt.
• Again, do not wear vests – they resemble giant bras, hence indecent.
• Do not go about shirtless – the moral police officers might persecute you for showing flat chests.
• Do not show your underpants’ waistband over your beltline – 100% of rape cases indisputably involve underwear.
• Do not wear skinny denim jeans – a big bump bulging from your frontal areas could be mistaken for potential sexual tendencies.
• Cover your face – they might think you have that creepy, indecent look.
• Wear shades – you’ll be accused of concentrating on her forbidden bulges when you were only reading the slogan on her T-shirt.
• Important for all Men: Do not think. You’ll be accused of having sex all the time in your mind.
By the way, where do you buy Burqa, for men? Just in case.
(With readers from around the world, popular Journalist and Columnist Al Ngullie is today the only Naga Media personality from Nagaland with the highest search-index on the Internet. National and international newspapers and magazines and internet institutions have published the works of the All-India Inclusive Media Fellowship recipient. Young, shy and soft-spoken, Ngullie adores his “my mostest beautifulest” mother and enjoys reading and blogging. Write to him at alngullie@yahoo.com. You can also speak your mind on his fanpages/groups on Facebook)
