Dimapur, May 11 (MExN): A day aimed at uplifting the spirits of women indeed saw light at Sinai Café here today with participation from school going girls, young women and elderly women. As everybody stood and sang praise songs, the worship leader constantly encouraged everybody to loosen themselves and be happy while reminding them of their specialty and God’s love. The day got more encouraging with the presence and enthusiasm of Alongla Aier, Associate Professor at Oriental Theological Seminary, Dimapur.
In the first session of the daylong conference themed “Inside a woman’s heart” organized by Women Department, Sinai Ministry, Dimapur, Alongla spoke on self, image/self – esteem/ self – worth. Drawing analogies and referring experts’ opinions, she emphasized, “The self image that we have influences our behavior, attitude and our relationship with others.” Stating self image simply means how one look at oneself and rate oneself, she affirmed “who we think we are” depends on collection of feelings of many years. The early upbringing dictates majorly whether you have positive healthy self – esteem or negative unhealthy self – esteem. A child who has always been rebuked, taunted, and rejected is most likely to grow up with very low self esteem.
Pointing out that Naga society does not realize nor care about the term, she told the women present it is important as it “affects our thoughts, how we see or perceive others.” Always trying to prove oneself; being defensive, restless, self centered, and praisaholic are some of the attributes of people with low self esteem, she described as stated by psychologists and further cautioned people with very low self esteem develop psychological problems as well. Therefore, Alongla stressed on the importance of working on one’s self – esteem, especially young people for growth and development towards maturity.
In order to achieve that ideal self – esteem, she mentioned three factors: “Sense of belonging” – which means to realize “I am loved, I am cared for, I am accepted.” These the speaker said begins from home and encouraged parents to provide that love and care in order to boost their child’s self – esteem. The second factor mentioned was “Sense of worth and value” – feeling importance and valuable and realizing one’s significance. Hence, she encouraged the women to know their source of significance. The third one was “Sense of being competent” – This is asserting “I can do it… I can achieve it.” This spirit helps in building up a strong self – image, she said and encouraged the girls in the room to take their studies seriously as that will build up their self – esteem.
Further Alongla explained God as one of the sources of healthy self – esteem. Based on biblical verses she explained that everyone is special in God’s eyes and he does not judge. “In God’s system our self – image, self – esteem, self – worth is not based on what you think or others think.” She also stated that self – esteem can be changed with an understanding and belief that “I am special.” She reminded that until and unless we love (not egoistic and selfish) ourselves we cannot love others, therefore encouraged all to uphold God’s characters. “We have no right to despise ourselves when God loves us so much…you are denying God when you do that.”
