Sentilong Ozukum
Have you ever witnessed a family quarrel? Emotions and words run pretty high, don’t they? I grew up witnessing World War Three a blocks away from my home. Our next door neighbor frequently erupted in petty quarrels and fights which quickly ignited with buckets and utensils flying all over the place. We children stood in front of their iron gates and listened to the sound of mortars and firings inside. However hard I try, I could not comprehend what they were shouting and screaming about. The reason- Our next door spoke a different dialect. We confirmed that they were quarreling only when the utensils spoke. The shouting and verbal abuses went on until the neighbors intervened. Harsh tone words in thousand decibels bombarded the atmosphere like a chain reaction. I stood at the entrance trying my best to comprehend what the spouses were shouting about. That soon became easy when my mom and dad translated them in our dialect straight from the bedroom. As if family quarrels were contagious, World War Four got underway right at home. The exact words they hurled each other would be difficult to repeat but over the years I have realized that words can really explain feelings and there is nothing more painful than words that are mean to hurt.
We children started our own wars. At first there was a flame, then a hungry fire and the explosion. We fought about everything under the sun starting from household chores to who gets to hold the remote control. As I sat and reflect the days gone by, I remember my sister calling me every name in the dictionary and myself being poor in vocabulary responding with kicks and punches. Childhood memories are always a treasure to be cherished. And blessed is the one who learns from such memories. I‘ve realized that in every household or street fights and quarrels, the thing that really ignites the misadventure are words uttered that are meant to hurt and the response to it.
When it comes to words, vocabularies, gossips and quarrels, none can compare with the female species. To this day I remember the not so encouraging names that the girls used to call to the strict teachers in school. Nobody dared to challenge those girls in a verbal game because we knew we are going to end injured with a flurry of harsh words behind our backs as a memento. Well I have a juicy cover up. Maybe female readers won’t deny this. During school days I remember one of my female friends announcing their group’s newest resolution. “We have decided not to speak to these girls” referring to another bunch of mischief monsters in our class, “ They are not human beings. They are liars, rumor mills……”
Trying to wave the olive branch, I approached the other party and I was not surprised by their response. “We’ll never speak to them as long as we live. They called us this and that. And then, what? She is your friend. You too don’t speak to us. You’ll also become like one of us…..” The last sentence really shocked me. Recently my twelve year old cousin told me their group’s new resolution in a harsh tone, “Hmmm. These last bench girls. Stylish and over smart. Today our bench decided that we’ll not talk to their bench.”
I really cannot understand what the world is coming to. I believe this is what is meant by an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. I remember the story of the young kindergarten kid who punched his bench mate flat at his face one morning. The teacher somewhat shocked asked the reason for the sudden display of violence. The kid replied that he punched his friend because he called him a hippopotamus last year. Somewhat astonished the teacher asked to why he was avenging only a year later. To which the kid replied, “It’s because I’m seeing a hippopotamus for the first time in the animal chart this morning.” I know it hurts when our friends chooses to defame us. I know it’s hard not to retaliate when somebody takes pleasure in gossiping behind our backs. Maybe you are often the subject of cruel jokes. Maybe you’ve heard by your own ears somebody calling you a liar, a cheat or a scoundrel. But what are we to do in such a situation? Are we to clench our fist and proclaim the revised law Both eyes for an eye and a dozen teeth for a tooth. Are we to fight back with a flurry of words? I mean if somebody deliberately makes fun of us in a crowd, are we to lift our head, raise our voice and say some juicy gossips and rumors of the other guy?
Maybe you’ve tried that already. And you saw that the result was regretful. For a moment you felt you were in top of the world. For a moment the crowd applauded for your witty and sharp insight of your general knowledge. But you noticed that a wall was created.
“I would have kept quiet!” you regret.
“But what? He deserved that!” you comfort yourself. “Anyway! It’s my life!” you cheer yourself up.
But what are we actually commanded to do?
Let’s learn from the savior. Let’s go to the day of the crucification and see for ourselves how the people around the cross mocked him. And very importantly let’s see how Jesus responded to them. Let’s learn from the savior. The dialogue that Friday morning was bitter and acidic. From the on lookers, “Come down from the cross if you are the son of God.” From the religious leaders, “He saved others but he can’t save himself!” From the soldiers, “If you are the King of the Jews, save yourself!”
Wasn’t it enough that He was being crucified?
Wasn’t it enough that he was being shamed as a criminal?
Were the nails insufficient?
Were the crowns of thorns too soft? Had the flogging been too short?
Of all the scenes around the cross, this one really astonishes us. I mean,
what kind of people would poke fun and mock at a dying man?
What kind of people would sneer at the person seated at an electric chair?
Would you point and make fun of a person who has a hangman’s noose around his neck. And as if the words from the ground below are not enough, the criminal on cross number two throws his punch, “Are you the Christ? Save yourself and us?”
The words thrown that Friday morning at Christ were words that were meant to wound. And there is nothing more painful than words that are meant to hurt. Maybe you are reading this with your share of your guilt. Someone you love or respects slams you to the floor with a slur or slip of tongue and there you lie wounded and bleeding. Perhaps the words were intended to hurt you, perhaps not. But that does not matter. The wound is deep. The injuries are eternal. And now you are sitting with your hearts broken, your pride wounded and your feelings bruised.
Or maybe your wound is old. Though the arrow was extracted long ago, the arrow head is still lodged, hidden under your skin. The pain flares again and again reminding you of harsh words yet unforgiven.
My main concern is if you have suffered or are suffering because of some one else’s words, you’ll be glad to know that there is a balm for this laceration. There is a remedy. The solution is in studying and learning how Jesus reacted when he was in the worst flurry of words. 1 Peter 2:23 reads, “When the hurled insults at him, he did not retaliate. When he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.”
Did you see what Jesus did not do?
He did not retaliate. He did not fight back. Jesus did not say, “I’ll get you. Come on up here and say that to my face!” Or “Just wait until the resurrection, buddy!” No these statements were never found in Christ lips.
Did you see what Jesus did do?
He entrusted himself to the one who judges justly. He took no revenge. He demanded no apology. He did not dial 911 to heaven. Not only did Jesus leave the judging to God but he spoke on the defense of his accusers. Jesus prayed, “Father forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”
Yes, the dialogue that Friday morning was acidic. The verbal stones were meant to sting. How could Jesus, with a body wracked with pain, eye blinded by hid own blood and lungs yearning for air, speak on behalf of some heartless thugs is beyond our comprehension. Suddenly our own verbal wounds seem very painless when compared with our savior, don’t they? Our grudges and hard feelings are suddenly childish. Sometimes it’s good enough to wonder if we don’t see Christ’s love as much in the people he tolerated as in the pain he endured.
Plain Amazing Grace.
