If all men knew what each said of the other, there would be no four friends in the world. Blaise Pascal. Gossip is defined as casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details which are not confirmed to be true. Gossip often evolves from harmless chatter that could be for entertainment or arise from idle talk with no intention of causing any harm to the person concerned. But soon, the effects of gossip ends up hurting people’s sentiments, affecting their reputation and it may even lead to depression, anxiety and other serious problems. Though, the popular assumption is that women are more likely to indulge in gossip,it is observed that it is increasingly becoming common among men and children as well. While most of the time gossip may contain false or overly dramatised information about a person, Frank A Clark quoted “Gossip needn’t be false to be evil –there‘s a lot of truth that should not be passed around”. Gossip therefore does not only mean false reports but can also be sharing and spreading personal and confidential information about a person that had been entrusted with a confidante. A question we need to ask our selves is :Why do people gossip? For some, it is simply a matter of gaining attention- a method to beat boredom and create some drama and excitement in their lives.While for others it is not quite as simple – It may be a manifestation of their own emotional state. We live in a society where we are constantly trying to impress and be accepted .Many a times, in our work place, schools, colleges etc we often feel insecure about our acceptance, therefore in order to fit in a particular group we give in to this habit due to peer pressure. It feeds on our low self esteem of wanting to belong and be accepted.Gossiping is not only about the person being discussed but it also speaks a lot about the insecurity issues of the people involved in it. However, more harm is done to the person being discussed and sometimes we do not realise the damage and repercussions of our actions. Another question to address is “Can gossip lead to depression?” A lot of cases show that it can and it does very often. We all lead busy lives and additional unnecessary problems arising from baseless rumours only create bad energy, mindset and reactions in people. Everybody has their own way of reacting and responding to a situation. Some people are strong enough to put aside hearing false stories about themselves and are able to stop themselves from putting much thought to it. There are others who cannot do the same. There are people who get very uncomfortable with the idea that they are being discussed and therefore while constantly analysing the situation and over thinking about it – wondering what the others must be saying,they tend to lose their sleep, ability to concentrate on their work, become forgetful, unhappy and it may eventually lead to depression .No matter where it occurs, workplace, in educational institutions or at home, a rumours or gossip can be very damaging to an individual’s self esteem and reputation. It is one of the major causes of depression and suicide among children and teenagers. The victim of gossip tends to isolate himself or herself from others out of embarrassment or people may alienate a particular person because of what they have heard about the person. Either ways the outcome is negative and it affects a person’s emotional state of mind. Depression is a state in which a person feels extremely low, empty and lonely. Some people have described depression as “like living in a black hole”. It is not very easy to snap out of it. It takes years of counselling and lots of patience and support from family and friends to help a depressed person .It is a time of great suffering and pain and nobody should have to go through that. There are number of reasons because of which a person can get into depression and gossiping about people is one of them. We can advice people not to take things so seriously but as a matter of fact, some people are greatly affected by it. As responsible people we have to be very careful with our words and be sensitive to how others feel. What does the bible day about it? Proverbs 11.13 –whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered. The bible does strictly warn us about the evil that our words may bring upon people. How do we avoid it? All of us at one point or another have intentionally or unintentionally hurt someone’s sentiments by our idle talk. But it is wise to learn from our mistakes and be cautious in the future. We have to know what to talk about and where to draw the line. The best way to avoid it is simply self control. We may not be able to control or change our environment but if we just try to avoid and not participate in any form of idle talk then eventually people will get an idea and come to a realisation. It is an unhealthy habit for anyone involved. We need to always remember that we have to treat others like we want them to treat us. As quoted - Lots of problems in the world would disappear if we talk to each other instead of talking about each other. Payal Bose, Assistant Professor, Dept of Botany, St. Joseph’s College, Jakhama.
