Liba Hopeson
Love is one of the most misunderstood and misused words in the English language. Phrases such as “love is blind,” “love is in the air,” “love is a game,” “love is a rose,” or “love is a fire” are so commonly expressed that their true meaning is often lost. One of my lecturers used to jokingly tell us, “Love is blank — you can write anything on it!” Yet behind the jokes and clichés lies a reality that is profound and serious: love is not casual, fleeting, or superficial. It is transformative, life-shaping, and demands wisdom, patience, and discipline.
Youth are naturally drawn to love. In camps or youth sessions, even when doctrinal topics seem boring, discussions on love and relationships excite young people. They lean forward, curious and alert, because love touches something deep within them — their hearts, their identity, and their future. This curiosity shows that young people are eager for meaningful connection, but they must also be guided to approach love wisely and at the right time.
Love does not begin with us. Real love has a source. God is love, and He exists eternally as Father, Son, and Holy Spirit — three distinct Persons in perfect communion. If God were only a solitary being, as some worldviews suggest, eternal love would be impossible. Who would He have loved before creation? True love, by its very nature, requires relationship. In the Trinity, love existed from eternity, active, self-giving, and dynamic. When we love rightly, we reflect this divine pattern — love flows not from selfish desire but from a heart shaped, guided, and sustained by God.
Because God is holy and relational, love is not arbitrary. It is moral, pure, and good. As human beings made in God’s image, we are also designed for love and relationship. But human love, to be meaningful, must mirror God’s character: it must be good, pure, and life-giving. True love seeks the good of the other person. It respects boundaries. It is not about selfish pleasure, desire, or convenience. Genuine love requires freedom; without choice, we can only obey, fear, or manipulate, but never truly love. Love without freedom is imitation, not reality. But freedom without boundaries is reckless and destructive; it leads to misuse, harm, and the very chaos that true love seeks to avoid.
Human life, and by extension love, is value-oriented. We never act randomly — every choice, from studying and working to entering relationships, reflects what we believe is better, meaningful, or worthwhile. Life does not stand still, and neither can we. If we drift without direction, we move toward confusion and decay. That is why it is crucial to have an aim, a value high enough to guide our decisions and make even suffering meaningful. That aim should not be shallow pleasure, resentment, or self-interest. It should be something higher: truth, responsibility, courage, the good of others, and love itself. Choosing what to aim for is a moral act: it organizes your life, shapes your character, and determines whether your love builds life or destruction. In matters of love, what we value most determines whether we use others for our benefit or seek their true good.
For young people, especially students, this means not rushing into romantic relationships too early. Focus first on building your character, your education, and your career. Be good — morally, spiritually, and in your daily life — in order to attract a good partner. Do not live a loose or careless moral life and then judge others’ past when it comes time for marriage. Pray for the partner God has prepared for you, and trust His timing. Fall in love only when you are ready for marriage, mature in age, experienced in life, and spiritually grounded.
Sadly, many young people fall into what Scripture calls “wrong love.” They treat attraction, desire, or dependency as love. Casual dating without commitment, excessive possessiveness, jealousy, and manipulation are often excused as proof of affection. Hugging, kissing, or physical intimacy before marriage is normalized, yet the Bible teaches that sexual activity is reserved for marriage. Even statements like “if you love me, you will sleep with me” are not expressions of love but manipulation, exploitation, and selfishness. Paul warns, “the acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality… and those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God” (Galatians 5:19-21). Jesus teaches that even lustful thoughts are adultery in the heart (Matthew 5:28). Social media and entertainment amplify this confusion, encouraging attention-seeking and instant gratification rather than commitment, character, and moral responsibility.
Wrong love may seem exciting at first, but it brings emptiness, depression, restlessness, and lack of peace. When love is pursued without God, joy and true satisfaction are fleeting or absent entirely. Excessive freedom without boundaries often leads to emotional harm, unresolved longing, and more problems — because the heart was made for God, and apart from Him, it cannot be fully content. Relationships built solely on fleeting emotions or physical pleasures are unstable and often lead to regret, broken trust, and lasting pain. Love that ignores God’s guidance and moral responsibility leaves the heart restless, empty, and prone to anxiety, regret, and depression. True love, in contrast, brings lasting joy, security, and inner peace because it is rooted in God, guided by His wisdom, and expressed with patience and respect.
Love is a commitment, not a game. Do not fall in love lightly. Do not fall in love for time pass, pleasure, trends, or social approval. Fall in love only when you are convinced — deep in your heart — that God has prepared this person for you. Let conviction guide your heart, not impulse or fleeting desire. Once you fall in love, boundaries are essential. Love your partner truly by saying no to physical intimacy before marriage. Lust is often mistaken for love, and statements like “if you love me, you will…” are manipulation, not love. Wait patiently for the right time, because true love is sacrificial, respectful, and faithful. Avoid frequent private meetings that increase temptation, and focus on nurturing a pure, God-centered relationship.
Falling in love also requires exclusivity. When you commit to a future spouse, you sacrifice all other romantic possibilities. Faithfulness is not merely physical; it is emotional, moral, and mental. Love that is casual, selfish, or fleeting cannot endure. Real love is about building a future together, nurturing each other’s character, and seeking holiness in your relationship. Love requires patience, self-control, and a conscious effort to grow together in virtue, respect, and God-centered purpose. Waiting for the right time is an act of true love and honor, not weakness.
Ultimately, love is more than a feeling; it is a disciplined commitment. It honors God, respects boundaries, protects both hearts from sin, and seeks the good of the other person. It grows through patience, sacrifice, and selflessness. It is rooted in conviction, guided by the highest values, and committed to the long-term well-being of both partners. Love is not about what you get; it is about what you are willing to give. It is a reflection of the eternal love of God — steady, sacrificial, patient, and true — and a light in a world that confuses lust with love.
Do not fall in love easily, — commit with conviction, guard your own heart and the heart of the one you love, build your life and character first, grow spiritually and morally, wait for God’s timing, and let your love reflect the steadfast, eternal love of God.
