Aniruddha Babar, Ph.D
Tetso College, Dimapur
Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognised union between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between those spouses, as well as between them and any resulting biological or adopted children and affinity (in-laws and other family through marriage). The definition of marriage varies around the world not only between cultures and between religions, but also throughout the history of any given culture and religion, evolving to both expand and constrict in who and what is encompassed, but typically it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged or sanctioned. When defined broadly, marriage is considered a cultural universal. The life of man and a woman changes once they enter in wedlock. The gender based roles see their prominence in matrimonial unions.
The ‘Matrimonial institution’ was not a natural outcome of human evolution but was an ‘invention’ necessary for social stability of mankind. During ‘nomadic’ era of human civilization the concept of marriage was unknown. There were unrestricted relationships and sexual unions which solely motivated by the ‘basic instincts’ of man. However, as hunter-gatherers settled down into agrarian civilizations, society had a need for more stable arrangements. The first recorded evidence of marriage ceremonies uniting one woman and one man dates from about 2350 B.C., in Mesopotamia. Over the next several hundred years, marriage evolved into a widespread institution embraced by the ancient Hebrews, Greeks, Indians and Romans. A primary purpose of marriage was to bind women to men, and thus guarantee that a man’s children were truly his biological heirs. Through marriage, a woman became a man’s property. In the betrothal ceremony of ancient Greece, a father would hand over his daughter with these words: “I pledge my daughter for the purpose of producing legitimate offspring.” Among the ancient Hebrews, men were free to take several wives; married Greeks and Romans were free to satisfy their sexual urges with concubines, prostitutes, and even teenage male lovers, while their wives were required to stay home and tend to the household. If wives failed to produce offspring, their husbands could give them back and marry someone else.
The basic role of a woman as a child bearer remains at the very core of matrimonial alliance, however, with the passage of time the dimensions of meanings, interpretations and importance of marriage changed. With the idea of ‘extra-community’, ‘inter-racial’, ‘cross-cultural’ marriages new doors of possibilities opened. M arriage no longer remained a factory to produce legitimate children to inherit man’s property but evolved as a platform of ‘cultural exchange’ through the union of families and societies.
Naga society is one of the most advance and liberal societies in terms of interpersonal relationships and matrimonial alliances. Naga men and women are allowed to choose their partners for the purpose of marriage with little interference from the family. It has also been observed that many Naga girls are also opting for ‘interracial’ marriages.
A union of the Nagas with the outside world through the sacred relationship like marriage has a social meaning as well as far fetching impact on society. As it is widely known fact that the Indo-Naga Relationship is a result of British invasion on the independent Naga nations. Arrival of British connected the ‘completely disconnected’ Nagas with the neighbouring Indian region. Had there been no British interference, there would not have been any relation of Indians with the Nagas. With the departure of the last British soldier and arrival of First Indian “JAWAN” on the independent Naga soil the social, political and cultural destiny of the Nagas changed manifold which has further forever influenced the relationship between the Nagas and the Indians. This may be the reason because of which Nagas prefer to identify themselves firstly as the ‘Nagas’. The uniqueness of the Nagas lies in the uniqueness of their history which has a rare distinction of being the history of ‘Free People’. The culture and traditions of the Nagas is unique which even after the arrival of Christianity, still exists in purest form. The complex social structure which has evolved over the period of thousands of years still exists in Naga society. Rich Naga culture is a big mystery for Non-Nagas which has a great potential to confuse an outsider who is not willing to look beyond what is being ‘shown’ to him by the mainstream media and mainland Indian narratives. Nagas are often identified as head-hunters but there is much more in the Naga culture than just head-hunting (which used to be considered as a supreme act of bravery in the Battle). The entire history of the Nagas is an incomprehensible saga of Blood and Sorrows, Pain and Happiness, Defeats and Victories, AND Dreams and Destructions. Every Naga share the burden of history on her/his shoulder. This is what sets them apart from rest of the world flourishing around them. Therefore, in this context, when a girl or a boy from Naga community decides to marry an outsider they should well know the fact that they are going to be the ‘Ambassadors’ of their community.
As has been observed, the interracial marriages with the mainlanders (and also with Foreigners in some cases) are now common among the Nagas. These alliances were made possible due to migration of Nagas outside Nagaland in search of job at an early age. It has also been observed that the outsiders are attracted more to the beauty and unique racial attributesof Naga girls than the culture and the history they belong to.The relationship that based solely on limited aspects of human personality will not have any fulfilling outcome especially when the non-Naga man refuses to surrender his cultural, social, racial and religious baggage and identification markersthat he carry along with himself. As a social scientist and political thinker I am compelledto raise a question as to whether the mainland Indians (or foreigners) who are in matrimonial alliance with the Naga girls has any affinity to the ‘social truth’ that they carry within them. Nagas are versatile. Naga girls are flexible in terms of socio-cultural adaptability, however, whether such quick adaptation of alien culture after marriage alienating them from their own roots? The questions are very serious in the context of miniscule population of the Nagas in India.
Girls and women have traditionally been considered as the custodians of culture and honour in Naga society. Therefore, it becomes a cardinal duty for a Naga girl who is marrying an outsider to introduce her husband, his family members and their friends to the beauty of her rich culture, traditions, belief systems, cuisines, way of life and perspectives. A Naga girl marrying an outsider must take due care while raising her mix-breed children and she should see that the children must inherit ‘every’ cultural treasure-songs, languages, art, stories, legends etc of her tribe from her. When we examine the ‘Social Outcome’ of cross-cultural, interracial marriages involving Naga girls (and boys in rarest of the rare cases) a shocking reality gets revealed before us. Almost all the non-Nagas exhibit ignorance with less or no affinity to the socio-cultural roots of their Naga wives. There are almost no cases wherein mix-breed children are given Naga names. There are no cases where mix breed children are allowed to learn and become fluent in the mother tongue (also clan dialect) of their mother or non-Naga husband has taken extensive initiative in encouraging his Naga wife to teachtime-tested Naga values to their children. Unfortunately, it has also been observed that the mainland Indians after marrying a Naga girl imposes their own cultural values upon her by disregarding her own. The words may sound harsh, but very close to the reality available for empirical observation, study and conclusion.
Interracial Marriages helps in breaking the artificial socio-cultural-political barriers that separates humanity, however, the marital union should not result in cultural hegemony. Non-Nagas who desireto marry or already married to Naga girls must rejoice for having an opportunity to learn and embrace new culture, language, cuisine and values. Cross-cultural marriage is a union that can produce children without any social tags. Such unions have a potential to create a race of ‘FREE PEOPLE’ who respect humanity and will be liberated from community consciousness as well as social prejudices.
Nagas are minority in India with population of few lakhs. Girls who are marrying outside should never take their marital union lightly. Just like Jewish Girls, they should keep the fire of extreme pride for their culture and social roots alive in their heart, mind and soul. Naga Girls are beautiful, hardworking, honest and talented. With their charming personality and caring heart they should spread the light of the traditional Naga values wherever they go. This is the way to spread the message of the Nagas in other worlds. Our daughters are the Ambassadors of our Naga soil. May the songs of the Nagas echo in other worlds through the hearts of our girls. May the Daughters of Lijaba be the torchbearers for Nagas. May our daughters be the messengers of peace, justice and love. AMEN!
