Very often I hear men and women telling me, “For me there is only black and white, it’s either a truth or a lie!”
While I respect such people, and feel it’s commendable to be that way, I also see that many of them live miserable lives! Why? Because they are not able to forgive those who have lied to them.
One of the greatest incidents of forgiveness I believe is that of a dying man, brutally beaten, pierced and now nailed to a cross, crying out, “Father forgive them, for they know not what they do!” In other words, he understood why his accusers had lied, and after forgiving those murderers himself, wanted his father to do likewise.
He understood the grey areas.
What about us? Maybe, by considering the motivations behind a lie, we can begin to understand the emotions and intentions that drove the person to deceive. This can help us respond in a more empathetic and compassionate manner, rather than simply reacting with anger or hurt.
Indeed, lies can be complex and multifaceted, and sometimes, they are told with the intention of protecting the person being lied to. This can be a difficult and delicate situation, as the liar may genuinely believe they are acting in the best interests of the other person.
In such cases, the lie may be a misguided attempt to shield the person from hurt, pain, or discomfort. This can be seen in situations where a person lies to a loved one about a serious illness, a financial problem, or a personal struggle, in order to avoid causing them worry or distress.
While the intention behind the lie may be benevolent, it's essential to acknowledge that lies can still cause harm and damage relationships. However, by recognizing the complexities of human motivations and the nuances of lying, we can approach these situations with empathy, understanding, and compassion.
In this sense, forgiveness becomes not only a moral imperative but also a liberating force. By choosing to forgive, we release the negative emotions and energies associated with the lie. This creates space for healing, growth, and renewal, not only for us but also for the person who lied.
As we navigate the complexities of human relationships, let us remember that truth and forgiveness are not mutually exclusive. Sometimes, it's necessary to look beyond the lie to find a greater truth – one that reveals the depths of human vulnerability, imperfection, and the universal need for compassion and understanding.
Today’s column is not an excuse to those who lie, or to justify the actions of those who use lying as an everyday tool. Oh no, it’s for those finding it hard to forgive, and hard to unload themselves of the bitterness and anger of unforgiveness!
Look beyond the lie...!
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and author. He blogs at www.bobsbanter.com and can be reached at bobsbanter@gmail.com
