Dr. Asangba Tzüdir
Another year is slowly passing by as we move into the eleventh month. The distinct smell of winter has also set the tune for the ‘festive’ season and a lot of ‘festive’ things are going to happen in these last two months. This includes weddings. Well, the wedding season is here again...and so much for the words ‘I DO’ to confess and commit before God and man. Sadly, a lot of ‘unnecessary sound, lights and action’ goes into the making of the ‘platform’ to say these two words. The trend is now set. A standard is in place and it is almost like a pinpointed ‘sin’ to fall below this standard. As such, weddings have become a big pinching affair and a big time business enterprise. Not long ago, the idea of wedding planner was so ‘western.’ Needless to say Naga weddings, today, is marked by more focus on unnecessary ‘sounds and lights’ rather than on meaning and essence. Apart from being a costly affair, it is also not surprising to see wedding cards that openly seeks monetary gifts. Marriage is a solemn and an honourable occasion, but often defiled with not so honourable thing. What can be more insulting to the Holy Vows is the fact that the wedding nights are often marked by drinking parties, seemingly indicating that the Holy Vows taken before God and man as witness expires its validity right after the wedding ceremony.
The phrase, ‘once in a life time affair’ also becomes the necessary evil besides making our weddings gratuitously ‘loud and glamorous.’ And like the presence of the good Lord is not enough, a wedding that is attended by big shots becomes the talk of the town. It is really sad that we have lost sight of our sensibilities, rationality and moral judgment. Well, who would not like to make it large, fat and memorable especially when it is about ‘once in a lifetime.’ But it should not end in a painful and draining tale. Our understanding of the idea of ‘making it large’, needs a shift from the material to the spiritual. For nothing can be bigger than God’s presence and His showers of blessing. Though these are aspects hardly talked about. It is the food and the dress and the gifts that’s the ‘in’ thing.
On the loss of meaning and essence, an instance, what good is a costly beautiful wedding card if it does not have the content and the purpose for which one is invited to the wedding. For it is not simply an invitation to grace and bless the couple. After all, God alone cannot be the witness here. The wedding band too, is not just a symbolic representation of promise and commitment to each other but often to check infidelity of the husband.
Weddings have instead become a scary occasion especially for those who cannot afford the standard because the Naga mentality is going beyond need, essence, purpose and meaning. The Churches too have realised it as a serious concern and certain churches have imposed ‘restrictions’ so as to keep the occasion of wedding clean and ways to cut down costs. Mass wedding is being encouraged but it has failed and one of the reasons being...everybody wants to make their day ‘exclusively special’ and not to be shared.
The Naga weddings need a drastic shift from material to the meaning and the fulfilment of God’s purpose. At the end of the day, what matters most is not what you wear or how big it was but the Vow you commit before God and man which the Church certifies. A lot of things may go into the preparation. We need to prepare the heart too for that is the most important part to prepare for a lifetime.
As religio-moral beings and going by the present trend of pompous weddings, there is a need for lot of rethinking. A complete lowering of the unnecessary ‘lights and sound’ cannot be expected but even a decibel lower can make a huge difference especially on the pinching part. It just needs a bit of simplicity and a return to meaning and essence.
(Dr. Asangba Tzüdir is Editor of Heritage Publishing House. He contributes a weekly guest editorial to the Morung Express. Comment can be mailed to asangtz@gmail.com)
