Vishü Rita Krocha
"Weddings are a celebration of love and commitment. However, in the present day weddings have become more like a tradition showing one's wealth and status and not really about the union. And this has pressured underprivileged families in numerous way. There's no doubt, weddings will continue till the world comes to an end. So with the purpose of emphasizing inexpensive and simple weddings, I have composed a song..."
So, said one of Nagaland's most loved musicians, Methaneilie Jütakhrie, as an introduction to his newly released music video in Nagamese, titled, "Wedding Party". "To throw a small wedding party is shameful, but then, should one sell their paddy fields?" From the opening lines of the lyrics, one can easily make out that the living music legend minces no words and blatantly points out the situation that the Naga society is in and in this particular context as far as marriages are concerned. Methaneilie has won the hearts of the people for his original songs that continue to spell out uncomfortable truths of the society.
"Wedding Party" is a clear indication of the Naga society's obsession for extravagant weddings that has become a norm over the last couple of decades. It is one of the greatest tragedies of our time that several newly wedded couples begin their married life with a debt of an exuberant amount of money. As Methaneilie clearly points out in his latest music video, weddings have really become a show of wealth and status in the Naga society and this very display of one's wealth or sometimes, 'borrowed wealth' just to count for having pulled off a "Big Fat Naga Wedding" celebration also goes on to show how shallow we have become.
As it is, the invitee list for marriages in Nagaland is, often times, an unusually long one, given the closely knitted community that we come from. This also means that most of the invitees- who are most probably invited out of compulsion- are not personally known to the couple. In the same manner, "most of the invitees" most probably end up attending the 'wedding party' only out of compulsion, which, in that sense is really tragic because both the parties are just wasting their time, money and resources for something that they are not even truly concerned about.
In the beginning of this year, somebody had commented during one-of-the-many-village events that endlessly occur from November through January-February that the Naga economy is as such that whatever one earns throughout the year from March to October is all spent during the months starting from November through February while particularly citing weddings as the primary recipient of it. And this is something that the entire Naga society seems to be confronted with.
Ten years ago, it was estimated that an average wedding costs about 5 lakhs or more excluding several other expenditure such as gowns, suits, decor, photography, etc, which, when put together could actually end up being a lot more than the estimated cost mentioned. If that was the case a decade back, then today, one can only imagine how much more it has multiplied.
However, regardless of the cost, as the music legend highlights in his newly released music video- "the ring has to be thick; the decor has to be dreamlike; there has to be a variety of dishes; and also, it is embarrassing if the return gift is too light..."
Given the situation, it looks like the Naga society has altogether forgotten what lies at the heart of it. Sure, marriage is that one special event in anybody's life that deserves attention and celebration but definitely not at the cost of running into a debt or splurging beyond one's means just so you could feel good about your social status.
The extravagant Naga marriage culture has done more harm than good. As a matter of fact, even the culture of lavish engagement parties has become worrisome. And because this is something that impacts the entire Naga society as a whole, it needs to be pondered upon. It is also concerning because it has more devastating impacts on the lesser privileged. Of course, no one has the authority or control over how much one should spend on an engagement or a marriage party but if our social structure and values are intact, perhaps we would not be finding ourselves in a situation where the very term "wedding" starts to worry you regardless of whether you are the one getting married or are being invited.
It would do all of us some good to reflect on 'the extravagant Naga marriage culture' and really start looking at weddings from the right perspective and the way it's meant to be celebrated. Perhaps, then, the Naga society can also reclaim the solemnity associated with marriage.
This is a guest editorial by Vishü Rita Krocha. She is the Publisher of PenThrill Publication and a senior journalist based in Kohima
