Dr. Asangba Tzüdir Not so ‘long ago’ in Naga Society before the coming of modernity and westernization, weddings seemed to be such a simple affair. In the villages, it would be a short program and is followed by tea in bamboo cups and ‘kata’ outside the Church. The wedding ceremony would be held early in the morning so that the villagers could go to their rice fields early. Today, most Naga weddings gives more emphasis on the material things and the ‘tag’ that it has become such a costly affair starting from decorations to the banquet, though people hardly realize that God does not count it but which really drains the pocket. It has become a big time business enterprise. The invitation to a wedding is to serve the ‘one purpose’ to be a witness to the Holy vows taken before God and Man. Yet, the ‘mortal human’ tries to make it big and pompous going beyond meaning and essence, that the purpose of being a witness to the spiritual and the religious get transported to being a witness to the material show. Sadly, a lot of ‘unnecessary sound, lights and action’ goes into the making of the ‘wedding.’ The trend is now set within a human standard rather than God’s in defining a big, fat, grand wedding, that it is almost equated as ‘sin’ to fall below this standard. And like the presence of the good Lord and ‘witnesses’ is not enough, a wedding that is attended by ‘big shots’ like Ministers and MLAs’ makes it even bigger and popular which often makes the bragging louder. On the loss of meanings, sense and sensibilities, the phrase, ‘once in a life time affair’ also becomes the necessary evil making the weddings gratuitously ‘loud and glamorous.’ Well, for a couple getting married would like to make it large, fat and memorable especially when it is about ‘once in a lifetime’ event. But more often, the pursuit of making the occasion materially memorable ends in a painful and draining tale. The understanding of the idea of ‘making it large and meaningful’ needs a shift from the ‘material’ to the ‘spiritual’, for nothing can get bigger and more important than God’s presence and His showers of blessing. But the prayers for blessings gets overshadowed by the emphasis on the materiality. Marriage is a solemn and an honorable occasion, but often defiled with not so honorable things. What can be more insulting to the Holy Vows is that the wedding nights are often marked by ‘partying’, seemingly indicating that the Holy Vows taken before God and Man as witness expires its validity right after the wedding ceremony. Today, weddings have become such a burdening and scary event because of the material mentality of going beyond need, essence, purpose and meaning. The Churches too have realized it as a serious concern and certain Churches have encouraged mass wedding. But it has failed and one of the reasons being, everybody wanting to make their day ‘exclusively special’ and not to be shared. The Naga weddings need a drastic shift from material to the meaning of the Vow and the fulfillment of God’s purpose of union between Man and Woman. At the end of the day, what matters most is not what one wears or how big it was but the Vow that is committed before God and Man which the Church binds and certifies. A lot of things may go into the material preparation but what is more important is to prepare the heart for the event that is for a lifetime.
(Dr. Asangba Tzudir is a Freelance Editing and Research Consultant. He contributes a weekly guest editorial to The Morung Express. Comments can be mailed to asangtz@gmail.com)
