My mom cannot get over the fact that I “meet” or “talk” with people “online”. Whenever I narrate such modes of interaction to her, my beautiful mom is all like ‘how do you meet in computer?”. Terms such as ‘internet’, ‘web’ or ‘email’ are as cumbersome to her as the Naga reconciliation process. Are you a Naga parent facing an ITendity crisis too? Here is how to know whether you are a computer bosti.
• Your buy your children a computer set. You tell your neighbors: “Loss hoishe ho! Rs. 45, 000 para dosta TV kinibole paribo thakishe la!”
• You call your son and sincerely enquire ‘how do I start the computer?’
• All your activities on the computer normally revolve around two very important objectives – attempting to find a letter on the keyboard and, secondly, deciding which finger to use.
• Your right index finger is usually the ultimate tool when it comes to your IT ambitions.
• You spouse’s choice is usually the middle finger.
• You move the mouse so slowly by the time the arrow reaches the object you want to click on, your PC screen blacks out.
• The time it takes you to locate a letter on the keyboard, push it and then look up to see if the letter is appearing on the Microsoft Word file is normally around 45 seconds.
• You have amazing typing skills – you can type 115 words in one minute – using only your faithful index finger.
• At least once you have been tempted to ask the computer salesperson – ‘etu computer tu Yahoo ase na nai?’
• You call the UPS ‘CPU’ and vice versa. And when you say ‘computer,’ mentally you mean the PC Monitor.
• You call the UPS “battery.”
• You have no idea from where to switch-off – the monitor’s side-panel, or from the CPU or from the UPS. You finally manage to switch it off – pull out the plug from the socket.
• You make sure that your text message has your full name and surname at the bottom. ‘Nohoi le tu, tai najane bo tu’ sorts.
• You log in your mail; your mail greets you – You go ‘etu kineka jaane she ho…’
• The screen says ‘Welcome, Mr. ----, please check your password again.’ You go “Aree, hosa computer bi bishi advanced hoishe ho”.
• You have a problem with the password. “Computer beya hoi she” you tell your spouse.
• You forget your Yahoomail password. You take the entire PC set to the repair shop.
• You cannot log in Yahoomail. You take it to the repair shop again.
• Your PC hangs. Repair shop.
• You think Bill Gates invented the Internet.
• You proudly boast to your department colleagues about your newly acquired computer skills: “To save my file, I Control Ass.”
• You cannot help chuckling at the term ‘Bluetooth’. Aji kali laka naam bi ki ase ho, you wonder.
• Taath bhi Blue color thak-e naki, you add.
• You open a Facebook account. Your son/daughter gives you that dirty look.
• During social occasions, you make it a point to sneak in phrases such as “ami laka computer” or “ami khan bhi computer” etc just so they get the idea that you are ‘advanced’.
• No matter what, your kids still think you are total bosti.
(With readers from around the world, popular Journalist and Columnist Al Ngullie is today the only Naga Media personality from Nagaland with the highest search-index on the Internet. National and international newspapers and magazines and internet institutions have published the works of the All-India Inclusive Media Fellowship recipient. Young, shy and soft-spoken, Ngullie adores his “my mostest beautifulest” mother and enjoys reading and blogging. Write to him at alngullie@yahoo.com or alngullie@gmail.com. You can also speak your mind on his fanpage on Facebook)
• Your buy your children a computer set. You tell your neighbors: “Loss hoishe ho! Rs. 45, 000 para dosta TV kinibole paribo thakishe la!”
• You call your son and sincerely enquire ‘how do I start the computer?’
• All your activities on the computer normally revolve around two very important objectives – attempting to find a letter on the keyboard and, secondly, deciding which finger to use.
• Your right index finger is usually the ultimate tool when it comes to your IT ambitions.
• You spouse’s choice is usually the middle finger.
• You move the mouse so slowly by the time the arrow reaches the object you want to click on, your PC screen blacks out.
• The time it takes you to locate a letter on the keyboard, push it and then look up to see if the letter is appearing on the Microsoft Word file is normally around 45 seconds.
• You have amazing typing skills – you can type 115 words in one minute – using only your faithful index finger.
• At least once you have been tempted to ask the computer salesperson – ‘etu computer tu Yahoo ase na nai?’
• You call the UPS ‘CPU’ and vice versa. And when you say ‘computer,’ mentally you mean the PC Monitor.
• You call the UPS “battery.”
• You have no idea from where to switch-off – the monitor’s side-panel, or from the CPU or from the UPS. You finally manage to switch it off – pull out the plug from the socket.
• You make sure that your text message has your full name and surname at the bottom. ‘Nohoi le tu, tai najane bo tu’ sorts.
• You log in your mail; your mail greets you – You go ‘etu kineka jaane she ho…’
• The screen says ‘Welcome, Mr. ----, please check your password again.’ You go “Aree, hosa computer bi bishi advanced hoishe ho”.
• You have a problem with the password. “Computer beya hoi she” you tell your spouse.
• You forget your Yahoomail password. You take the entire PC set to the repair shop.
• You cannot log in Yahoomail. You take it to the repair shop again.
• Your PC hangs. Repair shop.
• You think Bill Gates invented the Internet.
• You proudly boast to your department colleagues about your newly acquired computer skills: “To save my file, I Control Ass.”
• You cannot help chuckling at the term ‘Bluetooth’. Aji kali laka naam bi ki ase ho, you wonder.
• Taath bhi Blue color thak-e naki, you add.
• You open a Facebook account. Your son/daughter gives you that dirty look.
• During social occasions, you make it a point to sneak in phrases such as “ami laka computer” or “ami khan bhi computer” etc just so they get the idea that you are ‘advanced’.
• No matter what, your kids still think you are total bosti.
(With readers from around the world, popular Journalist and Columnist Al Ngullie is today the only Naga Media personality from Nagaland with the highest search-index on the Internet. National and international newspapers and magazines and internet institutions have published the works of the All-India Inclusive Media Fellowship recipient. Young, shy and soft-spoken, Ngullie adores his “my mostest beautifulest” mother and enjoys reading and blogging. Write to him at alngullie@yahoo.com or alngullie@gmail.com. You can also speak your mind on his fanpage on Facebook)
