‘Bullying can leave a lasting emotional scar’

 Vishü Rita Krocha
Kohima | April 24

“Being bullied as a child can leave a permanent emotional scar and continue to impact your quality of life,” a victim of school bullying who chose to remain anonymous related to The Morung Express. Recalling how he was bullied as a student of class 5-6, he said, “as a child, you can’t even share with friends or family and if that’s the case then, there is no question of complaining it to your teachers.”

“There was this particular classmate who tormented me so much in school. There were instances of him threatening me to get him a certain amount of money (which, I had to steal from my parents out of fear),” he narrated. Only years later, as an adult, he sought forgiveness from his parents for the act of stealing.

“I run into him sometimes and I still get reminded of the incident. I have forgiven him but I cannot forget what happened back then. But in a way, you get a certain form of closure once you have forgiven them,” he put across.

But bullying, he pointed out, can be in different forms. “Instances of a child whose tiffin gets eaten by his/her friends or the bullies telling you to go and buy things for them from the canteen or even smuggling of tobacco in school,” he went on to explain. Speaking from experience, he recounted how tormenting it is to be bullied as a kid, to the extent that you cannot concentrate on anything. “Even when you grow up, because you were bullied as a kid, you try to find other means to vent out; you become rebellious and anti-social in a way,” he went on to say.

However, on the other hand, he also believes that bullies are usually children who have problems at home. “It’s not like a child suddenly becomes a ‘daku’ for his/her peers, but it’s definitely sprouting from something,” he maintained. While being bullied can cause so much damage to your self-confidence, he affirms that both the victim and the bully need counselling.

Stressing on the need for every school to have a counsellor, he said that “this may not be the ultimate solution but we need school counsellors because they can act as the mediators between parents and teachers, and can also help address bullying in schools.”

‘Never thought I’ll be a bully’
For another female, who confessed to bullying a classmate way back in school, it was not because she derived any joy out of it, but as she put it, “my family structure was such…it is in the way I was harshly disciplined at home. Not that it justifies my actions in school in any way but I think that’s the reason why I took advantage of my peers.”

“If there were any complaints from the victim and I was scolded either by the teachers or her parents, I would make sure that there would be even worse consequences...that in the end, she (the victim) stopped telling her parents altogether,” she articulated regretfully.

Only she did not know her actions would haunt her even years later. However uncomfortable, she was grateful that she chanced upon the victim for a project they worked on together as adults. “I am so sorry for what I did. Please forgive me!” she had told her and the relief she felt afterwards was undeniably comforting even as she put across that, “I found a closure for all the bullying I did.”

‘NEP 2020’s policy to provide counsell or in every school in the country’
The National Education Policy 2020 has come up with the policy of providing counsellor in every school in India. In this regard, Dr Zavise Rume Professor & HoD, Guidance and Counselling Cell SCERT Nagaland, highlighted that SCERT Nagaland was the first State Council of Educational Research and Training (SCERT) in the whole country to introduce a 9-month Diploma in School Counselling since 2018.

With the primary objective of training at least one male and one female counsellor made available in every school in Nagaland, he said, “SCERT has already trained about 103 school counsellors and sent back to schools.” He said that it is now the responsibility of the Department of School Education to utilise these trained school counsellors.

Pointing out that professionalism in counselling as a professional strategy to cater to the needs of mental and emotional well-being in the complexities and stresses of modern day living is growing, he stated that “every child, student and youth is experiencing all kinds of mental and emotional stress and anxiety.”

“There is a need to focus on the physiological, psychological and emotional well-being of the students in the form of counselling rather than a normal school routine exercise,” he further asserted.

In view of this, he also added that, “counselling is now universally accepted as an integral part of school education at par with any school curricular subject rather than a problematic oriented activity.” Every normal child needs to go through counselling process in the school so as to enhance the quality of one's academic performance in the school, he expounded.

Dr Zavise Rume, who is also the convenor of the All India Counsellors Forum, founder of North East Psychological Counsellors Association (NEPCA) and founding president of All Nagaland Counsellors Association (ANCA) trains counsellors at SCERT where there are currently 45 counsellor trainees. “Sensitisation and awareness of the need for counselling among the public is the need of the hour,” he reiterated.