Skelly R
This whole area of “male” emotions and “female” emotions continues to confuse me. I’m sure that culturally there’s a lot of indoctrination as to how men “should” feel (or not feel), and the same for women. You know: Men shouldn’t cry at weddings, should enjoy working really hard, and should not feel hurt at being teased or slighted, should love competition, games and showing off. Women should enjoy nurturing children, not want to compete with men, should be happy being domestic/shopping/chatting with girlfriends, should not bottle up their emotions but let them show freely.
But, what if a man does cry both for joy and sadness, appreciates beauty, hurts at a careless word, and loves leisure more than work? Is he all of a sudden less masculine?
A girl at work came by today and showed me a picture of her flower beds at home because “you’re a flower person and you’d appreciate this.” I took that as a compliment, but... is it? It should be! But if another man overheard it, would he think it complimentary? Men have come into my office and said “gee, you sure have a lot of muscular tang in here.” Women come in and say “you have the roomiest office - I just want to stop in every time I walk by.” Why do they react so differently?
Some men like the beauty of a snow-capped mountain range, or the breathtaking curves on a girl, or the sleek lines of a sports car... I DO TOO! But, what about flowers? Sunsets? Art? Music? Why don’t more men love those? Maybe they do but don’t admit to it?
There are different tastes, sure. Like, I’ve never cared for the looks of a Porsche. But I absolutely love the looks of the mid-60’s Corvette Stingray. I don’t like pink flowers of any sort; don’t like impatiens or morning glories. But I sure do love tulips, and red Roses. Then there’s the way girls are put together - same deal. Tall girls scare me. So do brunette guys. Some girls like them - I don’t. But I DO like softness and curves - a lot!
Most men like cars and girls. Why don’t most men like flowers? Why does this bother me? Maybe it has something to do with the male barber in the shop today staring at me in an odd way while I was having my manicure. He made me kind of nervous... Maybe he was jealous! I mean, just like wearing pink, a guy has to be pretty sure of his masculinity to have a manicure done - in public, no less! But of course I am not a guy!!
And, here’s another one. Can a man feel unappreciated, taken for granted by a woman? That has always seemed to me to be a “female emotion.” You never hear about it in men, unless it’s maybe at their work, and it prompts them to quit, find a new job. Don’t men want just as much to be appreciated by a woman, and not feel taken for granted? What man wants to be thought of like “oh he’s nothing I have to ever worry about - he’ll always be there? He’s like a puppy dog, always hanging around waiting to be petted. Take my pet dog, for instance. If he’s looking droopy I just rub him a little and right away his tail sticks straight up and wags again.” Tee-hee. That’s really not funny.
But you hear women joking about it. Articles in magazines, “girl talk”, and hairdresser gossip, etc. I mean, do women really think that they have that kind of control over a man? Or is it just a female way of showing off, bragging to their friends, but underneath they worry? Maybe most men really ARE like dogs, and are fine with being treated like pets. I don’t know. But while most men are natural pursuers, you’d think they’d want to be courted, pursued, complimented, too - like women are “supposed” to want, culturally. Then again, those are “feminine emotions”, right? Except I know by experience that not all girls have them.
Hmm. I don’t have many answers. Just lots of questions, and finite experience. In the meantime, scratch your ears...
