At this present juncture, a lot of youngsters life is load up with depression, stress and anxiety, blighting both mentally and physically, they become delirious due to a fear of not being able to attain or live up to the life as expected by parents. From womb to tomb, our life remains stable just because of the efforts of our parents but when we look into another side point of view, parents expects from an individual more than what he /she is capable of, expecting the kid to be on the level of other talented individuals.
Rewind back to the times where there was no educational pressure ,unemployment pressure and the society live a life filled with pure innocent mindsets, thinking about it, those times really is valuable. We cannot blame our parents as at some point of time, it is the effect of society, we live in a society where the thoughts and expectations of our parents is still feeble, the outlook of our parents is still narrow, they just go with the flow, where the society leads, but in reality that's where it all begins, the root of high expectations ,comparison, demotivating one's child. Dull perspectives of our parents as 'you can't do this, you will never become successful in life ,you are hopeless' etc. most of the time, parents think we will take that as a challenge and work more earnestly to show our capability which is absolutely erroneous ,it highly demotivates an individual and make him /her doubtful. The notion of 'Am I really not capable', 'what will happen if i don't make it'? really disturbs and triggers an individual.
An individual often face harsh criticism when they're not able to live up to the expectations of parents and society, this creates a self-doubts about their abilities and intelligence. Our present world is becoming more competitive, an individual is constantly pushed by their parents to build a stronger and brighter future for themselves, however when the pressure goes to an extreme level on an individual, it not only hinders their growth and learning but leads to increase stress and depression leading to higher rates of mental disorder.
Every Parents want the best for their children, an individual securing a most respectable job in this society and leading a bright future keeps our parents contended. But there is a borderline between being concerned and concerning too much, in our modern civilized society, honesty and humbleness are shown in a very sarcastic way, courtesy and benevolence are questioned where as dirty trick and bad deeds are ignored. Our civilized society is ruled by power and money, and in the name of morality, the weak and poor are constantly crushed beyond recognition, on top of it unemployment rate is rapidly increasing which really concerns our parents.
The major problem of an individual is parents comparing them to another kid. Every individual has their own capability and aptitude. Motivating your child to excel in life will create positivity in him but when you demotivates him and pushes him/her to do better than other kid, it can create negativity in their life. An individual should have liberty, parents must get along with their child ,make time for them, listen to their thoughts and understand their emotions. Every parents must be aware that and individual needs total support from them and so a parent should guide an individual in a rightful manner, an individual's achievement is the reflection of parents efforts. Make them learn from their mistakes as past mistakes leads an individual to a brighter future which also makes them enthusiastic about learning through mistakes.
A child should be allowed to think critically and make choices of their own, which is how they develop mutual trust, respect and love. Parents should keep in mind that a child is not an object to show off in social circles, they tend to make use of the child's achievements which at the end of the day brings disappointment for themselves and ruins the lives of their own kids. An individual l should be treated with respect as independent individuals, they need to be loved and understand. An our community, some parents assume they have done the right thing, placing their kids in good, expensive and reputed schools and institutions, indeed it is the responsibility of the parents to give education but they should understand the best education is to create responsible and independent individuals and not qualify them for acquiring a respectable job and earn money. If a child feels they are incapable, it can deteriorate their performance even further.
An individual should be allowed to go through numerous situations in order to find their virtue and capabilities, he/she should be given freedom to choose his/her career. Youngsters often becomes rebellious when too much pressure is brought upon them. Every educator or parents should remember there is limit to everything. Regrets can be painful, especially while deciding a lifetime career. Proper guidance from early stage can bring a huge positive outcome in child’s life at the end of the day. Therefore, parents should motivate and give advice instead of opposing their choices .Success does not only consist of knowledge and effort, mental peace and physical balance also plays a key role when building an individual.
Degree of Thought is a weekly community column initiated by Tetso College in partnership with The Morung Express. Degree of Thought will delve into the social, cultural, political and educational issues around us. The views expressed here do not reflect the opinion of the institution. Tetso College is a NAAC Accredited UGC recognised Commerce and Arts College. The editors are Dr Hewasa Lorin, Dr Aniruddha Babar, Khangpuiliu Pamei, Rinsit Sareo, Meren and Kvulo Lorin. For feedback or comments please email: dot@tetsocollege.org.
