Kedo Peseyie
We live in very confusing times. Some scholars call today’s age as the post modern age. The very nature of post modernity is confusion where even the foundations of knowledge are questioned. No wonder people all over the world are confused.
One day I asked some of my students in the chapel service to describe the kind of world we are living in today. The answers varied—individualistic world, materialistic world, scientific world, a confusing world, a flat world, and so on. One of the answers is obviously taken from the brilliant and highly informative book “The World is Flat” by Thomas L Friedmman.
After reading the book “The World is Flat” it dawned on me that Nagas are a 100 years behind the “flat” world. Young people in the cities are buying their own homes and cars with their own money at 26 years of age. Many young Nagas at 30 are still looking for their “aim in life”. It is sad. But in the outward appearance of fashion and display of modern gadgets, we are at par with the world.
Modern technologies have reached us, especially the youths. But what Os Guiness said is true of us: “Those who are most blessed by modernity are often most hurt by it.”
We also live in a fast changing world. I was a schoolboy when TV first came to Nagaland, and Doordarshan was the most popular channel (because there was no other choice). Then the computer came, the internet, mobiles phones and all the brands in technologies. It changed they way we live, work and think. It even changed our faith and the way we worship.
Young people are the most vulnerable group to all these changes in society. And many of them are looking for identity in all the wrong places—the TV, advertisements and pop culture. Their confidence and sense of identity remains as long as the fashion or the adidas shoe is new. But it changes at least two times in a year and the adidas wears out. As a result they are left confused, without meaning, lost and frustrated. If we are not alert to the changing trends, very soon we could be witnessing a generation of young Nagas growing up without knowing the true meaning of being “born again” in Jesus Christ.
Young people need to develop a firm and solid sense of identity basing on the reality of our situation and the reality of faith. We can memorize all the Bible verses referring to our identity in Christ and think our identity is intact. But it doesn’t work that way. Yes, it begins in Christ. But we have to go back to our “self” and sort out many difficult issues as Paul did in Romans 7. The very fact of Paul’s statement “Christ lives in me” suggests that “I” have a distinct personality and identity that is enriched, strengthened and made new by this relationship with Christ and relationship with others. This distinct “I” is now nailed to the Cross of Christ and participates in the self-giving love of Jesus by giving and enriching others with his or her distinct personality and character. But before this self-giving love can start functioning, the “I” has a lot of searching, accepting and loving to do.
Allow me to share some of my personal reflections on our identity as Christians. I would like to propose that identity is based on and enriched by relationships—three relationships as found in the two greatest commandments: love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, strength, mind and body. And love your neighbor as yourself.
First. A relationship with yourself. It has to begin by learning to love yourself as God has created you. You can never have a healthy self image and identity without learning to love and accept the way God has created you, without learning to love and accept the family and situation God has placed you in. Of course, there are things that can be and should be changed. But trying to alter the personality and the very substance of God’s creative work can only result in frustration and uprooting of God’s original intentions. Like the famous prayer, we need to ask God for grace to accept the things that cannot be changed; for courage to change the things that needs to be changed; and the wisdom to know the difference.
The whole exercise of learning to love others as ourselves and learning to love God with all our being starts from the fact that we are able to love ourselves. Why is it that many times we don’t feel comfortable to go and talk to others or even compliment them on something good they have done? Many times it is because we are not comfortable with ourselves that we cannot make others feel comfortable with us. There are too many signs of insecurity in our society, more so in our churches. How can the church be a place of healing to others outside if it is struggling with insecurity resulting in power struggles and conflicts within? We need to throw away this faux display of religiosity and unreal spirituality and follow the example of Paul in Romans 7, where he unashamedly relates his struggle with the sinful “self” and courageously nails it to the Cross. I am sure he was not able to change the fact that he was abnormally short, bald, ugly and had a squeaky voice. But God gave him the “grace” that was “sufficient”, and the courage to stand before powerful leaders and impact the world with the Gospel.
Young people are constantly struggling with something inside them that keeps telling them to be like somebody else, or else they lose their identity in society. But many don’t realize that if they become somebody else, they lose their place in society and fade away into the world of the ordinary.
Do you love and accept yourself as you are, they way God created you? You should. God says you are wonderfully made. He gave you a distinct identity to nurture and cherish. No one else in the 6.2 billion people in the whole world can smile like you do. So keep smiling, keep loving and keep accepting yourself as you are.
Second. A relationship with your neighbor. This is simple logic. You cannot love your neighbor as yourself if you do not love yourself. And loving yourself can become narcissistic if you do not participate in the self giving love of Jesus. Our identity is enriched in relationships with our neighbors. Our identity is a result of a clear distinction from the other, and it is enriched and strengthened by a relationship with the distinct other.
In the Genesis 1 creation account, first there was a formless void. Then we see God participating in the creative process of differentiating, separating and binding together. He was separating water from land, day from night, etc. Some theologians have observed that there was also a process of binding together, a move towards unity in creation and a move away from the formless void. But today we undo the creation of God by turning the healthy process of “differentiation” into “alienation and isolation”, and “binding together” into “obliterating the distinct identities to create a forced unity”. Thus we move back into the formless void where people can kill each other, steal from the poor and benefit from the misfortune of others. In the formless void words are just noises; water and dirt, right and wrong is muddled together and their distinct is identity lost. In this formless void “Nagaland for Christ” is a ridiculous cry to save face with the semblance of religious piety. Prayer, fasting and killing is muddled together as one coherent activity. But it doesn’t seem to matter because everyone has moved back to the formless void.
The process of “differentiating” takes courage where we identify and accept the way God has created each one uniquely. We identify that in our weakness we need the strength of others, and others need our strength in their weakness. “Binding together” and love takes practice. It is a learning process. C.S. Lewis said that if you cannot love someone, at least try pretending that you love that person. Say something nice to him or something nice about him. And you may find that it is not so difficult to love after all.
Third and last. A relationship with God. Some may say that while talking about identity, we have to begin with God. But those who say such spiritual things hardly ever go back to the “self” like Paul did and sort out difficult issues with oneself. They become too spiritual that some of the difficult personal issues I mentioned earlier go unchecked. Let’s be more practical. Learn to love yourself. Learn to love your neighbor. And you will find that you can be more honest and real with God. You will be more at ease to live consciously in the presence of God who sees everything within and without. You will find that your identity is solid and unshakeable because the three relationships in your life are vibrant and healthy.
But do you really have a relationship with God? Do you really know who you are talking to when you pray? Reading the Bible, going to church, or even praying is not a relationship. It is just another religion. You can read all about Shakespeare and not have a relationship with him because he is dead. God is alive. He is the really real. And we need to recapture this sense of the really-real-true-spirituality and learn to live consciously in the presence of the living God.
Don’t look for identity in the wrong places. Look for it in the healthy relationships with the “I”, the “other” and “Thou”, always participating in the healthy process of “differentiating”, “binding together”, and “connecting” to the living God.
