Jungtina Jamir
It was a beautiful night. My room was palely lilted by the moon’s beam falling through the windows. I was holding teddy in my arms as I looked outside; it was magically beautiful; I had never seen so many stars in my life. I asked teddy if he had ever seen such a beautiful night sky. Of course he wasn’t gonna answer me!
I made myself comfortable on the floor as I stared at my teddy bear. I ran my fingers on my bear’s ribbon and peered intently into his black beading eyes. “Talk”, I asked as I shook him a little, “Please, Patches! Talk to me!!” I hugged him close to my chest.
Suddenly unbeknownst to me, an angel stood behind us. “Patches?” She whispered as she walked to where we were sitting. “Patches?!” she called out as she reached her hand inside of Patches and pulled a ball of fuzz out. She dropped the fuzz on the floor and put her hands on her hips. “Patches!, come on, I don’t have all day!!” Moments after she spoke, the fuzz began to move and shape itself into the image of the teddy bear I was still holding. It was his spirit. She watched as it shook itself once and looked up at her.
“Yes, angel, what do you want?” he smiled up at her as she frowned down.
“Why aren’t you speaking to her?”, angel asked. Patches smile disappeared and he walked over to me. “I’ve tried angel”. He reached his hand out to touch me, but stopped inches from my face. “Jungti!” He called out to me. “Look. I talk!” He waved his hand in front of my face, but nothing changed. I was staring at Patches real self and pouting. Patches turned back to angel with a look of sadness on his face. “Why can’t she hear me?” Angel frowned and took his hand. “I don’t know, Patches” She picked him up and hugged him “Maybe she doesn’t really believe.” Patches frowned and sighed. “They grow up so fast” he whispered. The Angel nodded as she carried him away to heaven.
I woke up the next morning and cried so much. It was a dream that reminded me of how I was as a kid. I believed that I could fly; I had imaginary friends to whom I talked and played. I believed that I could make the rain come and go. I believed that I could make mountains really move if I had the little faith that the Bible talks about. I believed in fairies, magical ponies and things like that. Growing up things changed. I let go ‘those believes’ and in the process I let go ‘believing’ itself.
I make layouts on the computer and think to myself that it’s gonna be a lousy layout even before starting. As I walk under the hot blazing sun I say to myself that it’s never gonna rain. I water the plants thinking that it’ll probably die. I don’t read books because I think that I cannot understand what’s written. What Patches meant when he said “they grow up so fast”, is that I am losing the child in me as I grow older. No more believing!
I am reminded of the simple faith we had as kids which is perhaps the most powerful of virtues. Let’s run our fingers through our soul. For once, just once, feel exactly what we should feel, believe what we believe and for once; just once, understand that’s there is much more to life in believing.
