Since elections are over I decided to visit some of those who had stood for the elections and lost and find out what they were doing, “Where is your husband?” I asked the wife of an independent candidate, who had lost his deposit in the last ten elections he had stood in.
“Busy preparing his victory speech!” she said, a pleased look on her face.
“But he’s never won till now?” I asked surprised.
“He gives the speech to all who voted for him!” she said.
“When and where?” I asked.
“After every election in our bedroom!” she said, “He stands on the cot and thanks me for the single vote he was able to get! But this time he’s in for a surprise!”
“Why?” I asked.
“I didn’t vote for him!” she whispered with a pleased look.
The next losing candidate I visited was busy going round his house instructing a contractor about something, “What are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m making an outer wall, around this wall!” he said as the contractor nodded.
“For security?” I asked.
“No, to store all the money people gave me thinking I would win. The space between the two walls, will be used to store their cash and I will tell them I spent everything on the elections!”
I moved away as I saw an army of masons entering and went over to the bald assistant chief of one of the parties, “How are you spending your time?” I asked pleasantly.
“I am expecting a visitor!” he said gruffly and the next moment a bullet proof car drove up and a dimple cheeked young man got out and walked over to the assistant bald chief and hugged him.
“I always like to hug!” said the dimple cheeked young man.
“But you should not wink after that!” said the other man, “Come let us go in and have some chai. I make as good tea as my leader!”
“Whoa! Whoa!” I shouted to the watchman, “Those two are….”
“Yes sir! Yes sir!” whispered the watchman, “They are just making plans that in case the party which wrested seats from both of them starts infighting, they will come together and form a government!”
“But they fought each other tooth and nail and the voters for both were distinctly different!” I said shocked.
“Sir!” said the watchman, “Politics makes strange….”
“Yes! Yes! I know!” I said, and slunk back to my newsroom deciding not to do any more checking about what the others who lost were doing even as I realized in politics there were no losers..!
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and author. He blogs at www.bobsbanter.com and can be reached at bobsbanter@gmail.com
