Every now and then we hear an alarming rise in teenage alcoholism and drug abuse. The relationship between children and parents has degenerated over the years, creating a widening gap between the generations. Many children have the feeling that parents are the enemy- a foe to be opposed, intimidated, threatened, and overcome. A whole generation of young people is turned off and tuned out to their parents, wanting nothing to do with them and the value system they represent.
We were told that spanking a child was an uncivilised way for an intelligent modern parent to act. Many school told us today's children have been too closely restricted and disciplined. Which means let them do their own things? With this we have created a whole new generation of young people who have no respect for authority. What we have with the new generation is not a generation gap but a discipline gap. Many teachers fear for their lives and their safety in the classroom.
Children are placed under their parents' authority, and parents must come under the authorities over them. The first duty of a child is to obey his/her parents. In addition to being obedient, children are also commanded to honor their parents. Their tone of voice and attitude of heart should always be one of respect and honor. Children who are taught to behave this way will live a long, full life. When children are left to do "what comes naturally", chaos results. A child must learn to submit himself to a higher authority if he does not learn this as a child; it is likely he will not learn to submit to God.
The father is the head of the household and is responsible for the spiritual welfare of his family. If your children are not properly trained and disciplined, it is the father who is held responsible by God. Many of us have turned our children over to the Sunday school for their spiritual training. However Sunday school was created in the nineteenth century to instruct orphans and the children of unbelieving parents. Mothers and fathers are to teach the word of God to their children, encouraging them to learn it and to hide it in their hearts. “Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction” (Proverbs19:18).
One of greatest causes of frustration and anger among children is inconsistent discipline. Everyone of us need boundaries so do the children. Without boundaries, children feel their parents do not love or care them which may make a child psychologically insecure. There should be certain family rules and also the consequences for not obeying them. The level of punishment also should fit the "crime." "He who spares the rod, hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him" (Proverbs 13:24). A parent who loves his child will spank him. And the parent who does not discipline him hates his child, knowing or unknowingly. The undisciplined children, grows up to be a rebel, refusing to submit to the authority of the parents, the school, the state, and of God. Discipline is an outward expression of love and we should not withhold discipline from a child simply because the child is upset about being punished.
Children often complain that their parents won't listen to them. Found fault over and over constantly, followed by a long lecture. Many children hear nothing from their parents but "rejection", which they felt they are criticised. They felt that their parents have not approved anything which they have done till now. When you discipline your child do it in love, make him understand that it is because of love and the love will remain the same before and after the discipline action. The father is responsible for seeing that the mother or grandmother or babysitter does not use any method of discipline that is physically, psychologically, or emotionally harmful to the child. We should never punish our children in anger, but we should chasten them in love. Nor the punishment is for wrong reasons like anger, impatience and loss of temper from anyone. Parents should realise that rewards are a part of discipline. Children should be encouraged to achieve rewards for their efforts. Children should know that obedience will result in blessing and think twice before they disobey. "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6). The responsibility for training the child is placed squarely upon the shoulders- not of the school or the church- but upon you, the parents. The question arises, how and what are parents to teach their children? Children must be taught the commands of God. They can be taught one command at a time, and practical instructions relating to that command were to be given whenever a situation presented itself. Parents, and especially fathers, were to impress God's commands on the children whenever and wherever you got time.
Recently, in a local newspaper of one of the state of North-East India, I found a column where a 5 years old girl was raped by her localite which is 14 years old boy (Minor). Young adults are not aware of the fact that fornication is a sin, and in many cases they do not even know what it is. And we wonder why our young people go astray. Sex education within the family framework is absolutely essential because your children are going to become educated about sex one way or another. Haverlock Ellis, one of the pioneers in this field, said that to forbid proper sex education to children is like refusing them a drink of pure water just because there are plenty of mud puddles in the streets. If we, as Christian parents, don't give them what they need, our young people will drink the dirty stagnant filth of the world. Children need to be taught what the bible says about sex. You may teach in your family devotions- about the proper purpose of sex. A practical study centered on God's word will help you lay the foundation for your children.
Without God, no wonder our young people fall apart and turn to drugs and alcohol when the pressures become unbearable. When a child is reconciled to God, his identity as a person becomes clear to him. So he can be taught how to reconciled to others and have wholesome relationships. Thus a child can learn to adjust to both his environment and the world in which he lives. The most important gift you can give to your children is to bring them to a genuine spiritual, saving knowledge of Christ.
Reference: Holy Bible, New King James Version by Thomas Nelson, Inc. The secret to a happy home by D. James Kennedy
Submitted by: Dr. Ramita Sougrakpam Department of Zoology St. Joseph's College Jakhama
