In the journey towards reconciliation being aware of the principalities of fear, ignorance, hate, prejudice, power and self-righteousness is essential as they affect people’s lives in the real world. For reconciliation to take place it is necessary to recognize and acknowledge the permanency of those from you are divided or separated. This essential understanding was central in enabling Nelson Mandela and other leaders to recognize that their opponents would not just vanish, even if they were victorious. Accepting this realization helped them to see that the best way forward was to make their enemies their friends.
In order for reconciliation to be possible, we need to recognize that we too are capable of making the same mistakes that our opponents have committed. Everyone must be willing to admit and recognize their own roles and how they have contributed to the situation. It is through facing our personal suffering and others which help us take positive steps towards reconciliation. Honesty, openly sharing, confessing and forgiveness open the path for reconciliation to take place, making it all the more meaningful.
Forgiveness does not convert wrong into right. Its purpose is not to justify the wrong that was committed; rather, it is a step to regain one’s own humanity. True repentance or remorse is necessary in order to restore human relationships. It is a commitment that the same acts will not be repeated again. Reconciliation, after all, takes place while defining a new way of life. A prime mover needs to initiate the reconciliation process. Some of the greatest moments in history have been those times when the people who have been wronged and suppressed have, with amazing grace, humility and sincerity, taken the first step to initiate restoring human relationships.
Very often people confuse reconciliation with forgiveness. Yes, it is true that reconciliation cannot take place without some level of forgiveness. Similarly, forgiveness is difficult unless you reconcile with yourself. Forgiveness is a process of letting go of one’s positions and extending to the other, which can create the space for healing to take place. Forgiveness is usually further enabled when there is an acknowledgement of the wrongs and hurts committed. The acts of confession and forgiveness provide an opportunity for reconciliation to take place and to dismantle the structures of violence and hate.
The act of forgiveness needs to acknowledge any feelings of anger, revenge and fear. Social injustice often foments revenge. Revenge is often interpreted by the victim as a form of psychological power, a punishment that is meant to equalize social and political injustice. It often begins when repressed anger can no longer be contained because of the hurt that one has experienced. However, revenge is both destructive as a thought pattern, and when expressed outwardly as violence. Only the victims have the right to extend forgiveness to the offender.
The questions of collective guilt, individual guilt; collective forgiveness and individual forgiveness must be looked at carefully within the cultural context. These are difficult issues because in a situation of violent conflict, who is innocent? Forgiveness cannot be an exclusive process; it is important that it is an inclusive process. The issue surrounding forgiveness has two aspects: spiritual and political. A holistic framework that addresses both the spiritual and political aspects of forgiveness is essential. It is in addressing both the spiritual and political that the reconciliation process can support a shift in the power relationships that is consistent with values of dignity and mutual respect.
