With many state governments insisting that all students, whatever their marks, get admission in college, I wondered how the colleges were going to cope.
The principal of the local college walked with me into one of the classrooms in his college.
“It’s going to be tough for you”, I said.
“Not really,” said the principal.
“You mean you are going to break down the walls and make classrooms bigger?”
“Not necessarily,” said the principal. “We might even take out some benches and make the rooms less crowded”.
“But you are supposed to give admission for more than a hundred children in your class”, I exclaimed.
“Of course we will give them admission”, said the principal. “We will always do what the government tells us to do!”
“Then how will so many children sit over here?” I asked.
“Not here,” said the principal, “Come!” and he led me out of the room, down the corridors and outside, I watched astonished as dozens of men ran about watering the lawn, planting trees and installing park benches all over.
“Whatever are they doing?” I asked.
“Making the outside attractive,” said the principal. “We have decided to encourage students to spend more time outside classrooms, enjoy nature and also boys and girls to enjoy each other. Any student sitting on these benches will automatically be given attendance. Now come with me.”
I followed the principal as he took me to the college canteen. This was no ordinary canteen; it looked more like a restaurant in a five star hotel. “Any student using the canteen during his or her class will be given discounted rates on all food items,” he said. “We are calling it the ‘happy hours scheme”.
“I saw a lot of building activity outside your gate”, I said.
“They are building three theatres there,” said the principal, “And in the next plot there will be a disco and a bowling alloy”.
“So close to your college?” I asked, shocked.
“We couldn’t have those buildings on our campus, so we did the next best thing,” said the principal. “Any student going to see a movie in these theatres or going to the disco or bowling alley, will be marked present, when they show the stub of their entrance tickets to the professor the next day.”
“But with all this, you will hardly have anyone attending your classes,” I said.
“That’s the idea,” said the principal, giving me a hefty pat.
“But what about their studies?” I asked. “With so much of encouraged bunking, how will they fare in their exams?”
“Even that has been solved by the government,” said the principal, “They have lowered the pass marks to 20%, so that everybody can pass!”
“Then what’s the use of college?” I asked.
“Ask the politicians!” grinned the principal, “Since they’ve managed, they think the country will..!
Robert Clements is a newspaper columnist and author. He blogs at www.bobsbanter.com and can be reached at bobsbanter@gmail.com
