Pastor Letlal Haokip
Delhi
Among the Christian communities of Northeast India, families, churches, and society are facing two major challenges, ie addiction (to substances like alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, pan, and wine) and digital bondage, especially to social media. Many parents find themselves at a loss, asking pastors and counsellors to pray for their children. But before we seek external help, we must first ask ourselves: “How much quality time are we truly spending with our children each day? Each week?” In the book of Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Children are the pillars of the future of our families, churches, society, and nation. We need to reflect deeply. Let us not dwell on past mistakes, but take a step forward today by guiding our children toward spiritual growth: reading the Bible, praying regularly, being with them when they are studying, engaging in meaningful family time, and playing with siblings and friends. Let us strive to make our own home a better, more nurturing environment than yesterday.
Parents Must Take the First Step: If we are to rebuild the family and community, parents must lead by example. We must make our homes the Mission Field Number One. First Timothy 5:8, “But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” Sadly, many so-called “born-again” and committed Christian parents spend more time outside the home attending meetings, praying for others, or simply being busy with church affairs, mobile and social media themselves. While these may seem like acts of service, they sometimes fall into the trap warned about in Scripture: the trap of becoming busybodies. “For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies.” (2 Thessalonians 3:11). “They learn to be idlers, going about from house to house... gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.” (1 Timothy 5:13).
We may think we are doing God’s work, but if we are neglecting our own children, we may actually be hindering the Kingdom of God. Parents must prioritise their children's education, spiritual development, physical and emotional well-being. Even if only one parent is at home, their presence and involvement matter. I come from a family where my father served in the armed forces and was away for 30 years. Yet, my mother, despite being uneducated, raised her five children with discipline, care, and love. Today, most parents are educated and learned. Therefore, we must rise above excuses and step into our God-given responsibility. The book of Ephesians 6:4, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” In order to bring them into the discipline and instruction, parents must spend time talking with their children, eating together, laughing, reading the Bible, exercising or playing games and sports together, doing things together and praying. The time you give them today will determine the relationship you have with them tomorrow.
Reforming Church Culture: It is also time for the church to evaluate its priorities. Many churches in Northeast India are activity-driven. We think the more activities we organise, the more successful. We come up with lots of programs, and the church is so busy with programs, and members spend months preparing for programs, practising songs, skits, looking for dresses and forget about children and family. We wrongly equate ourselves, thinking that the more programs, the greater spiritual success. But when we study the Bible closely, we see a different model: early Christians prayed together, shared meals, studied God’s Word, supported each other in need, and shared the gospel with Jews, Gentiles and others who hadn’t heard the good news. The main objective of the early church was “Winning the lost souls for Christ.” Lord Jesus Christ and the Apostles focused on teaching about Christ, preaching, healing, casting out evil spirits, and teaching. These were not entertainment or empty activities, but life-transforming ministry rooted in the power of the Holy Spirit.
Today, some church leaders add unnecessary programs that burden families and distract from core spiritual disciplines. We must be especially cautious of weekday evening worship services that pull parents and leaders away from their children. Churches should reduce unnecessary activities, such as Gospel Olympics, Christmas celebrations without remembering the poor and needy and Biblical truth and theatrical dramas with inappropriate themes, or events focused more on entertainment than edification. As First Corinthians 10:31, “… whatever you do, do all for His glory.” So, our main focus must be on preaching the biblical doctrine and foundation to the congregation.
Moreover, how the church raises money matters. It should not seek financial support from corrupt sources, businessmen with questionable practices, politicians, underground leaders, or others whose money may not be clean in the eyes of God. The church leader must focus on “Better is a little with righteousness than great revenues with injustice.” (Proverbs 16:8). The purity of God’s work must be reflected in its financial foundations.
The need of the hour for the Northeast Churches is; we should return to the biblical model of the early church. The presence of weekly Bible studies, Spirit-filled Sunday worship, having the church open from early morning for prayers, an intentional discipleship and maturity in the Word, teaching and warning against false prophets, idol worship and deception are the necessary things that entail in the congregation and allow for meaningful teaching of the Word of God through refocusing of the view to Him. The church should always adhere to Matthew 7:15: “Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves”, and proceed to care for each other in love.
Therefore, let us not lose sight of what truly matters. The family must come first. Parents must care for their children before they try to care for others. Church leaders must shepherd their own households before attempting to lead congregations. I was so happy to be invited by Jeil Sungdo church in Seoul, where they don’t organise any program on Saturday, as it is purely given for the family to spend time with one another and build their relationship and encourage and motivate and comfort one another. They use Sunday for different church services and meetings. On weekdays, they organise every morning prayer meeting from 4:00-5:00 AM and 5:00- 6:00 AM.
As I have been in Delhi for more than 20 years, and one thing that I notice in the mainline churches are- focus has been on the Spiritual growth of the members. They have a Bible study every week and a Sunday worship service, a Spiritual retreat or camp once a year. By God’s grace, they are strong and know their scriptures well. That is the reason they are not afraid of persecution, which is happening in North India.
They don’t organise the programs or activities like in the Northeast churches. Parents spend time with children or family. Over the last ten years, I have seen 80% of my coworkers in Christ (pastors/missionaries/evangelists), and their children are successful in their careers. In Northeast India, it is the opposite; 70% of the full-time workers' children are not successful in their studies or careers.
First Timothy 3:4, “He must manage his own household well, with all dignity, keeping his children submissive.” This is a call for spiritual reformation in our homes and churches. It begins with you and me when we choose to make our homes mission fields, dedicating time to our families, and cutting out the distractions that hinder our walk with Christ. Let what Joshua said in Joshua 24:15 be true for us as well, “But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” Amen! In the Thadou-Kuki language, we have a song, “Insung nom chu Vangam naipen ahi (Nearest to Heaven is Happy home). So, church leaders, as well as all the parents and adult members of the church, we must aim for a Happy home and a Happy church. God bless us all!
