The Challenges of Parenting

Dr Asangba Tzudir

Often we come across parents talking about the difficulty of parenting today adding, “what can I say about parenting or how to be a good and smart ‘parent’ to handle the various situations when I cannot control even my own children.” While there is always the joy of parenting, on the flip, it has kept parents ‘burdened’ so much so that it has taken a huge toll on their mental health and happiness. 

In the evolution of perceptions and changes in the society, parenting has become more daunting where the concerns, preferences and the lifestyle have changed. While there are some families where one of the parents have had to sacrifice their job in order to look after their children and also the home front, there are families where both parents are working  because of financial burden. As such, it becomes really tough to strike a balance between family and work. This has also led parents to adopt different styles of parenting in their own terms and convenience.

One challenging aspect is time management where parents especially the mother needs to fill up each unforgiving minute juggling so many things in order to call it a day well done. All these adds to the stress which also results in parents choosing to become parents much later in life, or only after they are financially settled. And this is also the reason why unlike in the past, parents are resorting to having just one kid or two because of management problems.

Another challenge is presented by young children that are increasingly getting diverted towards doing wrong things. This has happened because there is hardly any quality family time to teach their children moral values and virtues. As such, small kids while being opened to a wide spectrum of things that attract them, they lack the wisdom to differentiate between right and wrong. This is also a dilemma and a moral crisis which the so called modern world presents. The exposure to unsupervised media and technology from a young age is only going to deteriorate the young generation. 

There is also excessive use of gadgets and parents really should apply wisdom and smartness in dealing with children and also to keep their physical and motor skills on the roll to prevent obesity. 

Somehow today’s kids have in their own terms defined right and wrong, and good and bad that they hardly listen to anyone, and would rather shout back. This is the start of their aggressive behavior and where they will not tolerate any interference as they grow older. Within the changing times parents need to be there for the kids to provide the right balance while at the same time develop a strong bonding of mutual respect and obedience built upon trust and understanding so that kids can freely open up to their parents. 

Another aspect which any parent should bear in mind is the inferiority complex. At times, the child may get beaten up or becomes a victim of another child’s aggression. And where the level of a child’s performance in schools is symbolized by the number of stars, a kid will be made fun of by their peers if they do not get the ‘desired’ number of stars. 

Parents have plenty of issues to handle right from the initial phase of schooling. Parents should educate their children in such a way that schooling and studying as much as they are important is not the only thing about living. And while competition will always be there, it should not add pressure to their studies by imaging a world of survival in a cut-throat competition. They should be taught to enjoy and not be burdened by it.

The changing complexities of life have also exposed children to physical as well as sexual abuses. A healthy upbringing of a child is thus paramount and so a parent needs to be as watchdog all the time. 

All these and more have raised the parenting stress manifold and where parents feel constant burnout. 

(Dr Asangba Tzudir contributes a weekly guest editorial to The Morung Express. Comments can be emailed to asangtz@gmail.com)