Dr Aola Imcha
To begin an article on forgiveness, I thought I would start with one of the most profound acts of forgiveness in history. Here was a man who had done no harm, yet was put to a gruesome and horrific death by the very people, whom he came to save. He did not curse them but he asked God to forgive them as they did not know what they were doing. This incredibly powerful passage from the Bible can teach us not only about the process of forgiveness in our own relationships with fellow human beings, but also gives us an insight into God’s forgiveness of us.
Some people believe that it’s wrong to forgive someone who has hurt you really badly. They believe that if you forgive that person, he or she will do a similar thing again. Most people also say “I forgive you”, but they actually don’t mean it and they keep on reminding you that you once hurt them.
All of us, at some point in our lives, have been hurt and wounded by the actions or words of another. Sometimes the grievances have been so great we thought, “no way, this I cannot forgive!” Yes, it’s not the best feeling in the world when you are stabbed and betrayed by someone. It hurts deeply. It hurts when a friend betrays our trust. It can hurt even more when family members stab behind our back.
It’s only natural to find it difficult to forgive someone when they have done something awful to you, but Forgiving is the first step to gaining some trusts back into the relationship. Again, forgiveness is the catalyst to repairing any relationship.
We know that forgiving someone is not a natural act but we have to develop it. Forgiving someone is to agree within yourself to overlook the wrong they have committed against you and to move on with your life. It’s the only way. It means cutting them some slack.
It is hard to forgive, but forgive we must for our own spiritual well being. Vengeful thoughts only hurt you mentally and physically, making you discontented; cynical and stressed, it’s imperative that you try and succeed otherwise you are just re-injuring yourself. If you have suffered at the hands of someone else, try to forgive them. It cannot do you any harm. It can only be good for you.
Here is a new concept to try on, when you are faced with the option of forgiving someone, think of it as a gift to you and to your spiritual development. It is much easier to do if we view at as an act of love to ourselves. Forgiveness is the most important single process that brings peace to our soul and harmony to our life. Also, remember that forgiveness doesn’t mean that you’re saying what someone has done to you is acceptable. What it does mean is that you are not going to let your anger dominate you any more. You’re releasing yourself. Forgiveness at the basic level is just freeing oneself from living with bitterness, hatred and resentment in the heart.
We need to understand that Forgiveness is not synonymous with pardon. Pardon is to let the person off the hook for the consequences of their action. Forgiveness is aimed at releasing ourselves from being bitter to our offenders in other words not punishing ourselves twice. It’s no accident that every single great religious tradition has taught that Forgiveness is the most important first step on the path to true contentment. When you release the weight of Anger, your spirit is free to soar!
Always remember that Forgiveness helps you move forward. No one benefits from forgiveness more than the one who forgives! Let us all take this moment to reflect on ourselves and uphold the art of forgiving.
Lewis. B. Smedes quotes “You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well,” because to err is human but to forgive is ‘divine’.
