Bob’s Banter

  • Your Load Bearing Wall..!
    Seven people were killed when a hostel building collapsed in Delhi. According to reports, a load bearing wall had allegedly been removed while four additional floors were being constructed.Having been closely c
  • India’s Angry Uncles..!
    Our Prime Minister recently at a college gathering where he had been invited to speak, compared those who constantly question his government to naraaz fufas, the permanently upset uncles at a family gathering.I
  • Homeopaths Turn Allopaths..!
    I   read with a shudder that Maharashtra is allowing homeopaths who complete a one year course in modern pharmacology to prescribe certain allopathic medicines.What an extraordinary shortcut!Perhaps tomorr
  • Afraid of Smart Glasses...!
    The other day, a gentleman stared suspiciously at my spectacles. Bob, are you wearing smart glasses?No, I replied.Thank goodness, he whispered. Then I had better say whatever I want before you buy a pair.I laug
  • Just Speak the Word...!
    I watched politicians and activists gathering around the tiny Christian community in India, offering sympathy, support and some splendid speeches.We are with you, they declared.I smiled, because politicians who
  • The Emperor Has No Chest..!
    Hey, whispered the white bearded village chief to his bald deputy as they stood at the edge of their village, do you think my fifty-six-inch chest is growing smaller?The bald deputy stared carefully at his lead
  • Bringing Oilcans to India..!
    Had dinner with a top corporate leader of a multinational company in New York last night, and during our conversation I asked him a question that I thought would make me feel proud.Why are you not investing in
  • Don’t Pull Down the Props..!
    As a youngster, I loved wandering into religious groups and debating with their leaders.I was not always searching for the truth. Quite often, I was searching for an audience.One day, after I had delivered what
  • New York and the RSS Chief...!
    I am in New York at the moment, and so is RSS chief Mohan Bhagwat.Mr Bhagwat stood before an American audience and spoke beautifully about unity through diversity. He declared that different religions may follo
  • The British Are Coming Back..!
    The British are coming back! The British are coming back!The frightened cry travels through villages, election meetings and television studios.Where are they? asks an alarmed citizen. Have their ships entered M
  • The God They Cannot Contain..!
    Why should anybody be frightened of Christians? We are barely 2.3 percent of Indias population. We do not have the numbers to dominate elections. We do not have armies marching behind us. Most of our institutio
  • A Prize for Gandhi, but No Place for Him..!
    As I travel all over the world, something that those abroad associate me as an Indian with, is with peace and Gandhiji. Its certainly a wonderful association, but I wonder whether the people at home are bent on
  • The Star Who Kept Looking Up..!
    Dolly Parton died yesterday at the age of eighty, and I imagine heaven had a small problem receiving her.Name? asked the angel at the gate.Dolly Parton.Occupation?I sang a little.A little? asked the angel, look
  • Taking the Mountains Home..!
    Your suitcase is overweight, said my wife as we prepared to leave the Poconos.Impossible, I said. I have hardly bought anything.She looked at the gifts, books, clothes and assorted objects that had mysteriously
  • First Teach the Potholes Marathi..!
    Bandra, I told the auto driver.He looked at me suspiciously.Bandra? he repeated.Yes, Bandra.East or West?West.And with that, our highly complicated linguistic exchange was successfully completed. No interpreter
  • My Phone Knows Me Better Than My Wife..!
    I wish you hadnt gone out last evening, said my wife.I looked at her with the innocent expression husbands have perfected over centuries.Yesterday evening? I asked, buying three valuable seconds.Yes, she said.
  • Cancel their Licence Too..!
    The Maharashtra Food and Drug Administration has been inspecting restaurants across Mumbai and finding some frightening things.Dirty kitchens. Unsafe food. Improper storage. Questionable handling.Under the guid
  • Wherever You Go..!
    Since we are holidaying as a family near Lake Naomi in the Poconos, where my daughter has a home in the pine woods, I became curious about its name.The lake was created in 1895 when members of the Miller family
  • Losing Pitch Together..!
    There is a frightening moment in choral singing when the entire choir begins to lose pitch.Nobody notices it at first.The sopranos are singing confidently. The altos are following the sopranos. The tenors are f
  • Intelligent AI..!
    A group of elderly rulers gathered in Delhi to study Artificial Intelligence. They entered the classroom with the confidence of men who had never allowed intelligence, artificial or otherwise, to interfere
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