Atongla Rothrong
Don’t we all come to this world as guests—constantly striving to find the golden rule of a successful affinity with everybody and everything we come across? From birth to death a person’s success or malfunction is measured by the kind of relationship he/ she have had with elements of this world: people. Nature and beyond it all, with the spirit behind this “relative world”. But striking the right harmony in a relationship often proves a hard nut to crack.
The world seems to constantly echo with a disconcerting chorus of voices, the result of frustrated relationships between parents and their children, husbands and wives, friends, siblings, in-laws, employees and colleagues—individuals disillusioned with themselves for not being able to relate successfully to their environs.
The most interesting aspect of this scenario is that, today there happens to be no dearth of methods to arrive at that elusive “success” in the act of relating.
Relationships give rise to some of life’s greatest joys and some of its angriest fights. There are no magic recipes for ‘sibling harmony.’
I am in the midst of two older sisters, two younger sisters and a lone younger brother. And I sometimes do believe and I know that I make a sister of the worst kind, yet my siblings never count me out. Although I may be the odd one out in the family, there never has been a moment for me to feel left out.
I alternately love them and hate them, but one thing’s for sure—what would I do without them? My companions for life, my competitors, my confidantes, my rivals, my comrades-in-arms against the whole mad world—what would I do without them? No other bond in the world can beat siblings at sharing such a unique and complex love-hate relationship!
The true worth of having a brother and/or sisters around while I was growing up never striked me till I was way past my childhood. The most important lesson I learned at that stage of my live, is how to get along with individuals other than ourselves. That was also when I learnt to develop social values such as cooperation, honesty, kindness, and tolerance.
Learning such important social skills usually takes a lot of time, but they are imbibed much faster while living with brothers and sisters. Children with siblings learn how to share and resolve conflicts quite easily. And with the right kind of guidance from parents, siblings also get a lot of practice in learning how to be cooperative, supportive, and nurturing to others.
Yes, there is a positive side to sibling rivalry. Drs. Julius and Zelda Segal, both psychologists, sum it up neatly. “Through their adversarial roles, children learn a great deal about handling human relationships-how to stand up for their own rights, how to compete without acting hostile and aggressive, how to resolve conflicts through negotiation and compromise, and how to lose gracefully.” Siblings also learn valuable lessons about reliance in human relationships that we can feel terribly angry at people and then feel loving towards them again with no loss of intimacy.
In other words, I probably turned out much better because I had that bullying older sister or the irritating younger sister- it prepared me for all the important relationships I’m encountering in life.
