Atongla Rothrong
Squeezed uncomfortably between the December holiday season and Valentine’s Day, it’s the time of year when more couples tend to call it quits. January is said to be a time for new beginnings and fresh starts — which can mean getting out of a bad relationship.
The January freeze can affect relationships of all kinds. Some people want out of a relationship, but don’t want to be dateless over the holidays. Others don’t want to ruin the season’s celebrations with a painful breakup. For youngsters, winter break can turn into winter breakup when newly hatched fall romances don’t survive the lengthy absence in December. Married couples planning to separate or divorce may decide to stay together so the family can have one last traditional Christmas together. Some singles want to secure a date for New Year’s Eve, but don’t want to hang around for Valentine’s Day.
While January is a good time to meet someone new, the rest of the year doesn’t exactly drop off. “Its recession-proof,” “Even in bad times, people want to meet someone.” The Right One’s of course. (Leave aside the ones who have found the right ones.) Let’s just let them be, awright? Hello!! I am talking about the lonely hearts! But you know what? They say its better to lose a love then never to have loved at all and blah blah.
The next holiday (for amorous people) on the horizon — Valentine’s Day — is one with which many people have a love-hate relationship. The Valentine’s pressure can be so great that more than a third of single men avoid being in a relationship between Thanksgiving and February just to escape it.
But oh! Words people come out with, like ‘The day you no longer burn with my love, many will die of cold’; ‘before your silken hand touches me, I would have touched yours’; or for instance, ‘I wish I was your blanket, I wish I was your bed, I wish I was your pillow underneath your head, I wanna be around you. I wanna hold you tight, and be the lucky person who kisses you goodnight’, and the likes. Are you with me? Because, I find these entire gimmicks so as to lure and melt the oh! So soft hearted girls (no pun intended).
This game is SO complex!
We can only identify true love and know when we have found it, and we are honestly prepared to make a life-long commitment to that person -- then we can say that we are truly “in love.”
Anyways, when alls said and done I’ll have to conceit that, Relationships pave the way for us to recapture our wholeness by correcting the distortions of caretaking and socialization that distanced us from our original selves (when just born). It is in unconditional loving our partner, making it safe for them to open to love, letting that love sink in over time so that trust can build, that allows their fullness to come back into being, so they can feel their oneness, their totality. ...love is the answer. It is the love we give that heals our partner, and the love we receive that heals us.
“Finding and keeping love is not just a romantic idea; it’s crucial to our intact survival.”
